Fran Macilvey

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March 3, 2018

The unbearable insecurity of writers

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The unbearable insecurity of writers

Lots of those we call great authors – okay, almost all the authors I know or have read about – suffer from an insecurity, a question they ask themselves all the time: Is my work any good? Have they done themselves and their characters justice, this time? Such is the unbearable insecurity of writers that even famous and very successful authors suffer from angst and mental health problems.

And to the general public who read books, or who simply watch the show from the side-lines, the answer is – of someone like Stephen King or Marian Keyes or Lee Child – “Of course they are good enough. They sell millions of books. What more do they expect? Perfection?”

Writerly insecurity looks a bit like – and is often mistaken for – an ego needing a good massage, but, I believe the reason for the endless quest for reassurance is more subtle.

When we first set pen to paper – okay, when we sit in front of our PCs with a new file open – we have the whole field of possibility open to us, rather like a child’s first day at primary school. We can write literally anything; excuse the pun. But as a story takes shape and the characters show us where to go, as words and plots are tied down, increasingly there arises the question, is this where I am meant to take this story? What if there is a much better line to follow out there, that I have missed? What if all I have written is but a poor reflection of what I should be writing?

And to that, I can offer only the age-old adages that, “What’s for you won’t go by you..” or “If it’s meant to happen, it will,” or “All things work out for the best…” which may be scant comfort, a bit too much like the superstitions that our forebears relied on, but what else can we do? There is no way to know definitively whether what we have is the best finished article we can make; and, we can always console ourselves that a finished book – or even a half-finished book – is probably better than no book at all.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

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March 1, 2018

‘Nearly Almost Somebody’ – Caroline Batten

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Nearly Almost Somebody’ – Caroline Batten

I read the first book in this series, ‘Forfeit’, about the adventures of Daisy and Zander, loving it entirely, so much so, that several years later, ‘Forfeit’ is still on the main page of my kindle. Why did it take me so long to get a copy of ‘Nearly Almost Somebody‘? Perhaps I was rationing myself.

Whatever I think of the characters in this series – all beautiful, interesting and apparently irresistible to the opposite sex…I’m so, like, totally jealous – the writing, detailed plotting and characterisations show  a level of ability that I can only aspire to.

Such talent as Caroline Batten possesses, to write entertainingly, excitingly and with real verve and colour, is somehow unusual. Ms Batten writes a thriller which is genuinely scary, a love story that carries real poignancy, and a human interest story that makes me feel as if the characters live just in the next village and I might see them, and allow some of their glow to rub off on me.

I really, really want to read more from the pen of Ms Batten, and I do hope that she is writing lots more books. If she does not already have a fab agent and a brilliant publisher who can take her to the stratosphere of fame and fortune – which she may not want, but which she richly deserves – I suggest that she should be next on any commissioning editor’s wish list. She has a huge platform, major success on watpad and would be a sound investment and a huge talent for any publisher to support.

Very highly recommended.

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February 27, 2018

Smart as a Whip – Jacky Donovan

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Smart as a Whip – by Jacky Donovan

‘Smart as a Whip‘ by Jacky Donovan – aka ‘Instant Whips and Dream Toppings’ – is an account – a rather extraordinary account – of one woman’s discovery of … what? Her joy of sex? Her initiation into dom rom? It is so many things, and such an interesting read, for so many reasons. Not the least of which is, I seem to have led a very sheltered life.

Jacky started out on what turned out to be a life adventure, by her own admission a fairly ordinary and unexceptionable character, a talented employee, but rather dowdy perhaps, not a woman I would give a second look to. (Though, being me, I probably would.) Then she met the character Max, who very gradually altered Jacky’s expectations and behaviour, until she was running one of the premier Dom/Sub sex businesses in London. I’m pleased that Jacky found her forte, but have very conflicted feelings about Max.

This may not be the place to say this – this is a book review, after all, not a character assessment – but Max, charming urbane and very good in bed, increasingly strikes me as a psychopathic character. Not because he is obviously abusive or cold, but because he expects Jacky, in the name of experimentation, titillation, perhaps, to do things that he never has to, such as, while driving on the motorway at eighty, to remove her knickers and make herself climax behind the wheel. Undoubtedly exciting, but, from where I’m sitting, also life threatening and – let’s face it – a no-risk free kick for Max, who only has to whisper soft endearments down the phone to turn on our long-suffering narrator. High octane sex is, in many ways, unbeatable for thrills. But there is also the “agreement” between them that Max will never, and should never expect to have to, leave his wife; behaviour indicative of an insecurity that feels pathological to me.

I’m very interested in the study that Jacky’s book offers, of the men in her life: her friends and clients, and Max. I find myself wondering, long after I’ve finished reading, about the thrills of vicarious sex, and why so many of her clients get a kick out of unusual turn-ons. Perhaps they are not so unusual.

A very interesting read, eye-opening, funny and compassionate.

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February 25, 2018

My new screen saver

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My new screen saver

This is going to sound maudlin, but I promise you, it’s not. I have a new screen saver. That’s to say, my new screen saver is wonderful. I have sometimes struggled to get images that were not pixelated to death, or fuzzy, or that gave me a headache after a few days.

But recently, mucking about with my PC, a photo of my brother, wearing a genuinely lovely smile, a grin which says, “I’m happy here, now” ended up as my screen saver image, and it is beautifully clear.  Unusually, because my brother was oddly self-conscious, forever pulling faces when being photographed, playing the fool, this picture has his happy likeness to perfection. He’s wearing a red t-shirt with the legend, “Moved into a new flat – my neighbour has broadband wi-fi…”

As as IT expert non pareil, that fits him well…

The thing is, I can feel his joy motivating me. Pieter was an incredibly hard worker, obsessed, almost, with his projects which were legion and complex. And seeing him there, grinning, is all the motivation I need to keep working when I’m tempted to slack off. Not that I don’t rest, and not that he would have disapproved of a good time off. But knowing how much effort he put in, and knowing that his advice still motivates me (“write, because the only thing other people can’t do for you is write your books.”) it seems like a double dereliction of my intentions, to shut him away for the night without at least giving my projects a bit of quality time.

I don’t much like the expression, “quality time” but it works, when applied to my work. I can fritter time away playing computer patience, or I can watch Netflix, or I can spend lots of time on YouTube. But, since I enjoy writing, and since I want to write, I really should, when the opportunity suggests itself to me as I turn on the PC and there is my bro, encouraging me, saying, “Come on, girl, you can do this…” I will get my work done and I will finish what I set out to do. Thanks, bro!

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February 22, 2018

Character and plot overlaps

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Character and plot overlaps

In the series of novels I am writing, there are character and plot overlaps among the three books. Each book has its own cast of characters, all of whom are important in their own way, and each book has overlaps with the others, particularly books 1 and 2.

For a long time, I was worried about that – how can I write each story convincingly, not forgetting the details of what went before? How to manage without being repetitive or predictable? I’m not sure I can stay two steps ahead of my readers, but I might like to aim for one, though I’ve not been quite sure how to do that, when each book rather anticipates the next…

Though internal consistency in plotting is a must, it turns out that I need not have been so worried. Each of my books has a different feel from its neighbour, and the two main characters whose lives  intersect have, it turns out, very different ways of seeing the world, of dealing with its challenges. Each character has very different priorities. So, conversations that Lisa the lawyer might recall with exact clarity, are turning out to be a fuzzy nightmare to Susan, her client – which is good. I can hardly hope to make my books interesting if I find myself forced to replicate long sections of dialogue.

It turns out, Susan is, in some ways, so out of her depth that the last thing she cares about is the details of conversations. My characters turn out to be so different, that even when their lives intersect, they do not remember the same things, or the same events in the same way.

It is a solution I could never have dreamed up; yet it seems to answer most of my questions, and frees me to write more fully in character. It does seem, with these books, that my role is to trust, and allow the stories to unfold while I take dictation and allow the plot to speak to me, as it were. I am sure we often find that when we relax and allow ourselves to be open to new discoveries like this, they come to us from all over the place.

Thanks for reading.

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February 20, 2018

‘How to Breed Sheep, Geese and English Eccentrics’ – Valerie Poore

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‘How to Breed Sheep, Geese and English Eccentrics’ – Valerie Poore

Valerie has been a follower and commentator on my blogs for a few years, and I’ve always admired her honest, cheerful style, and been so thankful for all her support here. So when one of my other friends recommended ‘How to Breed Sheep, Geese and English Eccentrics’ I quickly got a kindle copy.

I wonder why it took me so long.

‘How to Breed Sheep, Geese and English Eccentrics‘ is an enjoyable, confidently written and entertaining account of one woman’s attempts to get to grips with small-scale farming. In this account, ignorance makes for some delightfully funny stories, which had me giggling late into the night, desperate not to wake my husband by laughing too loudly.

It was lovely to relax and read of other people’s misadventures, flirtations with disaster and a whole host of characters straight out of a modern-day Thomas Hardy. A boyfriend needing love, a dangerous(?) flirtation with a dodgy other, a mother with a carefree dress sense, and enough plot twists to leave me wondering, right up to the end.

Is this a true account, or a simple story? It could be either, and it hardly matters. ‘How to Breed Sheep, Geese and English Eccentrics’ is a delightful insight into so many of the things I should have liked to try – country living, self sufficiency, flirtation with disaster… At a time, in the 1970’s when internet, mobile phones and on-line living was a distant mirage, this account reads like an affectionate tribute to simpler times, and is instantly engaging.

Thank you, Valerie.

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February 18, 2018

‘The Dare Club’ – Margaret K Johnson

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‘The Dare Club’ – Margaret K Johnson

I first read this book a couple of years ago; so on opening the file again on my kindle, I was relieved to discover that the writing has lost none of its charm, and that the characters and situations are convincing, endearing and well drawn.

 

It becomes ever more challenging to me, to find writers that I can not only empathise with – being an author, I do empathise with a great many authors – but whose work has the ability to take my away from my everyday concerns. Call me an escapist fool, but there are times in my life when I need the suspension of my reality, and sometimes more than ever. Yet, in the past decade, I have morphed from a straight-forward reader to an author with ten years editing experience, so it becomes increasingly challenging to find a book I can read wholeheartedly, without feeling the dire necessity of assuming my ‘editor’ hat and itching to rewrite or rephrase…

Thankfully, ‘The Dare Club’ is such a book, and as I read it I heaved a sigh of relief for Margaret’s sympathetic writing, her careful editing and her attention to detail. I can recommend this book to all readers wanting a bit of fun, a bit of vicarious adventure and a few ‘There but for the grace of God’ moments too. It takes a rare book to both entertain and humour me, as well as reminding me of all the privileges I enjoy in my life.

Thank you, Margaret.

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February 15, 2018

A thousand blog posts

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A thousand blog posts?

I think I must have written, by now, almost a thousand blog posts. (I had more than are currently listed at https://www.franmacilvey.com because I had to delete some posts from my original WordPress site, they having only a very tenuous connection with the categories that I set up for my current blog.)

At three hundred words for each blog posts, that is – yes, I know, but arithmetic has never been my strongest suit, quite honestly – three hundred thousand words, more than enough for three books. Wow. That feels good, and I begin to appreciate the value of all those backups, having wonderful web support and help with SEO and all that jazz. It has been an interesting journey to get this far.

I started out as a tad bewildered author, uncertain of all this on-line media networking jive, and over the years, my hope and optimism trajectories have had more lifts and dips in them than a five star hotel, but now… now I come out of it all, feeling more ready, willing and prepared for what the rest of the year brings: the London Book Fair in April, the Frankfurt Bookfair in October – and I’m not concerned, as some industry insiders would have it, that Frankfurt is only for industry insiders. So what? Writing is a lonely enough occupation without the added isolation imposed by barriers that reek of exclusivity. We take our chances where we can find them.

I’m pleased, in all this time – more than ten years of writing, networking and hoping – to have had the support and encouragement of so many others, writers, readers, industry professionals and neighbours. Thank you so much, for all your encouragement. Without that, my writing career would still be an embryonic hope, stifled by regret and what ifs. Even if my path were to end today, I would feel grateful for the last eleven years of endeavour, experimentation, trial and error.

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February 13, 2018

A wasted opportunity

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A wasted opportunity.

We’ve been hearing a lot about the behaviour of certain people in the public eye, all of whom will remain nameless because I don’t wish to cast particular nasturtiums in anyone’s direction. Doing so tends to obscure any meaningful debate with lots of muddy water.

I rarely listen to BBC radio 2 at lunchtime, because so often, they throw deliberately contentious issues open for discussion, which seems to routinely end in bouts of heated argument. I don’t particularly favour that approach to debate, because, I feel that if you wish to persuade someone to a different point of view, it is more useful to listen well and talk quietly.

But a particular type of person seems to defend what I would consider to be obnoxious behaviour in the public sphere, with the argument that goes, ‘This was merely a typical, ordinary response of an ordinary bloke/ess down the pub, who was probably having a chat with his/her mates on a Friday night….’ and therefore his or her forced resignation, departure from public office, is out of all proportion to the perceived offence, tweet, post on FB, etc, which seems to have caused so much upset among the general populace, and the unreasonable leftist press in particular.

Yes, perhaps a single, offensive tweet is excusable, and perhaps it is the result of a bit too much bevy. Perhaps, from the point of view of an educated, middle class, white male who has – let’s face it – been part of the system that he and his ilk have fashioned and benefited from for eons, one remark should of course be excusable. But…

I have been accused of being unreasonable – a long time ago – when I have responded angrily to a single, jocular comment, of course meant in fun, but which I have found deeply upsetting. Probably because one single jocular comment from one person is probably the latest of about three thousand irritations that have accumulated over the course of several years, one more pebble of discomfort to add to the collection in my shoes…

That I no longer rise to offensive comments is not intended to suggest that offensive people may, each in their own way, contribute their pennyworth of offensiveness to the general discourse and expect to be excused. Racism, sexism, disable-ism, double standards and unkindness deserve to be called for what they are, and kindness, toleration and peace are always worth encouraging.

Try telling the single mum with three kids living on benefits that a ‘scrounger’ comment from a local official was only meant in fun. Try telling a bulky young man that comments about his size are only banter. Try telling a woman who has been for seventeen job interviews that her position is laughable. To those who have to battle the system every day, every gesture of kindness is appreciated. And every joke at someone’s expense is a wasted opportunity to be kind instead.

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February 11, 2018

Reading a book to the end

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Reading a book to the end

I used to read lots of books at once. Five was about right: two long fuses, a couple of interesting reference books and at least one of the ‘sit up all night’ variety.

These days, I am more inclined to read one book at a time – though I still have a couple of reference books I dip into and am determined to finish one day. Rather like the Bible, these tend to be on a long lease… but I remain determined with them, and they do provide daily interest.

But, whereas I used to persist with books that I was less than keen on and make a virtue of reading a book to the end, nowadays, I will usually give such volumes a heave ho after, perhaps, managing through one half. It seems I haven’t the time or inclination to hope that the last chapters of a book might yield an interesting denouement, if the first half of a book has been okay but not fantastic, overly violent or simply not what I want to read, right now.

Hubby – my infinitely better half – will not only read every book to the end, but will choose all kinds of books – about the first world war, the Irish wars of independence, ‘Les Miserables’… – worthy books about worthy and serious subjects, as if, by reading them he will in some way atone and make the world a better place. He is immensely patient, or perhaps proud, that he will not be found slacking on his watch, and that no man will ever be able to accuse him of skimming his duties, missing the greatest opportunity for wisdom the world has ever known or passing by on great enlightenment.

Such motives as these may, at one time, have inspired me. Now, they make me tired, so that I long for some gentle escapism. Thankfully, I have lots of that ready to read on my i-pad. Each to his own.

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