All dressed up, my daughter appeared through the front door in time to advise me to keep my jacket unbuttoned. (Not this jacket, a pink one).
Scottish writer Fran Macilvey, pictured in her home city of Edinburgh.
‘You are aiming for smart casual, right?’ I was grateful for her advice, and for confirmation that I passed muster, as I flew up and down the stairs, waiting for the cab. (Getting into town in my own car, in the evening in the midst of Edinburgh Festival Fringe Frenzy, is not to be contemplated.) Aware they are much in demand, taxis whizz in and out of the city centre like maniacs, like bears hoping to catch the autumn salmon migration from the river, before the quietness of September and the pre-Christmas austerity of October.
However, I digress.
The staff at the Venue helpfully said I was early, and then – joy of joys – my sister came, to keep me company, she said, and to help, and to be there. Given that she would be home late, I was especially touched by her generosity. Martha has always been so kind, and often in ways that I feel I don’t deserve. So, anyway, she and another Quaker friend visiting from Canada, went up to our event space and sat quietly for fifteen minutes. The room was set out with two long rows of chairs facing the windows. Aware of my mother’s urging to caution, I was quite prepared to speak to a select group of two, when the organiser came and mumbled something about letting the crowd in now, maybe?
Oh, are there others? Yes, and they had been waiting patiently to be admitted at seven. Every seat set out for the purpose was taken, that I could see. Blinking in delighted astonishment, I bade them welcome and thought, ‘OK girl, do your thing…’ so I read a few excerpts, and then we had a most – most – interesting and wide ranging discussion.
One of the most useful questions, was, ‘So, what should I do, if someone falls over and I want to help them?’ I answered something like, ‘If you would like to help, do so from your heart…and if you are rebuffed, (which you might be, remembering how embarrassed and sore I used to feel when I fell) don’t take it personally.’
This morning, I realise, it is easier than that. If someone falls over, don’t ask, ‘Are you all right?’ (Which I have done too….it trips off the tongue with almost no thought.) Instead, ask, ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ Then see what happens.
Thank you so much to Venue 40, the Quaker Meeting House, for making our evening such a success. Without the support, faith and friendship of our Quaker community, I would still be sitting in the armchair under the window, wondering what to do with my life.
I have a date at the Edinburgh Fringe and I would be delighted if you could join me.
Scottish writer Fran Macilvey
Next week, I am going to be appearing at the Quaker Meeting House, (Venue 40) which you can find tucked away high about the city at 7 Victoria Terrace, Edinburgh, in the heart of Festival Fringe Country.
On Thursday 27th August from 7 – 8 pm, I will be reading excerpts from my book, Trapped, and then enjoying a question and answer session. You can ask me anything!
Here is the link to my show on the Festival Fringe Website where you can find out more and buy tickets. You can also call the Quaker Meeting House (Venue 40) ticket booking line on (0131) 220 6109.
I am really looking forward to an enjoyable evening among friends. If you cannot be there, I know that when we are meant to meet, we shall.
My friend, my good friend Clare Flourish notes at the side of her blog that she is a member of the Mumsnet bloggers network.
It was Clare who gave me the idea, which has been simmering, of asking if Mumsnet would find an article from me worthwhile, and Josephine who looks after such matters – bless her! – said yes.
‘Thank You’ by Moeez, July 2014
Bless Mumsnet, which is an interesting, amusing and hugely informative network of information and ideas for like-minded souls. MN even have a jobs section, where you can ponder your next career move. And they post into my IN box a regular news update which helps to keep me informed about all the latest news and views.
I am delighted to be a member of such a wonderful community, and to have at my fingertips a resource of advice, companionship and almost limitless ideas. Here is my article, ‘I have cerebral palsy but refuse to let it define me’ which was posted yesterday afternoon.
Please pop in to comment, share and tweet (and do whatever else you would like to do – the site is so engrossing that I can happily spend a morning just browsing….)
Imagine the scene. We are just in the door after a week away sunning ourselves in Italy. The house feels a bit odd and quiet, with mail scattered on the doormat, and two dishes left from a week ago, and there is a fair bit of washing and drying of clothes to get through, before we head off again the following day I take a moment to check the four hundred or so emails that greet my return home – thanks for the love-bomb, people.
E Philips Fox, ‘A Love Story’ 1903
Waiting in my email IN box is a lovely invitation from Michael McEwan a journalist and presenter with ableradio.com to appear on Able Radio. YAY! I pen a speedy reply with my electronic pen, and then, fingers crossed, head off for another week. Later on, Michael records us for a while, and afterwards we chat about everything and anything; and I can honestly say that Michael is the best (and kindest) presenter I have ever talked to. He has a knack of putting everyone at their ease. Later, of course, I could kick myself for thinking of lots of things I could have said, afterwards. But, I have now discovered a lovely place to listen to broadcasts from all over the UK, with groovy music and lively discussions around every issue of interest to the disability community and beyond. Ableradio is based in Wales but has regional presenters throughout the UK. Michael’s show goes out every Thursday from 7 – 8 pm. If you would like to listen to the programme, here is the link that should take you straight through to the broadcast. If you can, I would be delighted if you would tune in tomorrow, the 13th of August, when Michael and I will be chatting about how I came to write Trapped, and about my upcoming appearance at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. (On Thursday 27th August at Venue 40, The Quaker Meeting House at Victoria Terrace, in central Edinburgh, I will be giving a reading and then there will be questions and answers.) Thanks for reading – and listening!
I never find it especially easy playing by the rules. In any case, I have always assumed life is meant to be fun.
I turned up at the pool very early on Saturday, found the main door open, so went in and changed. I forgot my purse, but then, I am on a membership, so no cash would be changing hands, and I figured I would clear it with them afterwards. I’ve done that before. There was no-one at the desk. I went in anyway, surprised it was so quiet, and then, as I was starting a second length, a guy came and told me I should not be in the pool.
The supervisor then kneeled to tell me he was really upset and angry, and confessed he could lose his job over it. He could not hear my side of the story, but had to leave, to get over his upset. All of which …… really devastated me. I still don’t know what to think. Is it likely, that a small thing like being in the pool ten minutes early could lose another person his job? Or was my tearful, fearful reaction merely a symptom of my disconnect from normal life: the usual back and forth of frightened employees, banter, words spoken in rixa that other people would simply shrug off? Perhaps working alone, I am less able than I used to be to take such statements as they come and bat them away. They sink in….
The door wasn’t closed, the desk was not barred, the pool was not switched off….none of the usual STOP signals were in place to jog my realization that actually, I was not supposed to be there until eight thirty.
We are all becoming tired of negotiating rules, regulations and restrictions that are enforced, but not all the time; some people are stricter, and more deeply upset, by perceived contraventions, but, though I may be careless, I am not malicious. Other people leap and splash over my head, wondering, what is her problem….? I just wish I could get warm, be somewhere easy to be….to be peaceful. I am sorry for the harm I cause, though perhaps that kind of comment reawakens feelings in me that go much deeper, back to a time when I felt useless, in the way, and frankly, unwanted. No wonder I was upset, then.
I am surprised. I thought I had grown through all that. But clearly, place me in a swimming costume, in a pool, and have someone say something sharp, and I go back to being small, vulnerable, and unhappy. Surprising, that.
August 28, 2015
My Edinburgh Festival Fringe Date
Fran Macilvey 'Trapped: My Life with Cerebral Palsy', Fran Macilvey, Interviews With Authors 4 Comments
My Edinburgh Festival Fringe Date
We had a great time last night.
All dressed up, my daughter appeared through the front door in time to advise me to keep my jacket unbuttoned. (Not this jacket, a pink one).
‘You are aiming for smart casual, right?’ I was grateful for her advice, and for confirmation that I passed muster, as I flew up and down the stairs, waiting for the cab. (Getting into town in my own car, in the evening in the midst of Edinburgh Festival Fringe Frenzy, is not to be contemplated.) Aware they are much in demand, taxis whizz in and out of the city centre like maniacs, like bears hoping to catch the autumn salmon migration from the river, before the quietness of September and the pre-Christmas austerity of October.
However, I digress.
The staff at the Venue helpfully said I was early, and then – joy of joys – my sister came, to keep me company, she said, and to help, and to be there. Given that she would be home late, I was especially touched by her generosity. Martha has always been so kind, and often in ways that I feel I don’t deserve. So, anyway, she and another Quaker friend visiting from Canada, went up to our event space and sat quietly for fifteen minutes. The room was set out with two long rows of chairs facing the windows. Aware of my mother’s urging to caution, I was quite prepared to speak to a select group of two, when the organiser came and mumbled something about letting the crowd in now, maybe?
Oh, are there others? Yes, and they had been waiting patiently to be admitted at seven. Every seat set out for the purpose was taken, that I could see. Blinking in delighted astonishment, I bade them welcome and thought, ‘OK girl, do your thing…’ so I read a few excerpts, and then we had a most – most – interesting and wide ranging discussion.
One of the most useful questions, was, ‘So, what should I do, if someone falls over and I want to help them?’ I answered something like, ‘If you would like to help, do so from your heart…and if you are rebuffed, (which you might be, remembering how embarrassed and sore I used to feel when I fell) don’t take it personally.’
This morning, I realise, it is easier than that. If someone falls over, don’t ask, ‘Are you all right?’ (Which I have done too….it trips off the tongue with almost no thought.) Instead, ask, ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ Then see what happens.
Thank you so much to Venue 40, the Quaker Meeting House, for making our evening such a success. Without the support, faith and friendship of our Quaker community, I would still be sitting in the armchair under the window, wondering what to do with my life.
Bless you all, and thanks for reading.
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