Love
‘Careful now, we don’t want to drop her, do we?’
Her dark anxiety faded as a dazed, fretful bundle nudged and stretched. A fist found and grasped Helen’s finger like a lifeline, so tight, Helen knew she could never let go, and her heart contracted lovingly. Creased lines in the tiny face would gradually relax as the days slowly widened. Eyes open, Cassie gazed longingly into her mother’s eyes.
‘She looks like her Dad, see?’ and Helen began to cry.
‘Yes, she does…’
The pain of loss stretched her chest and caught her breath. Ordinarily, she took condolences politely, with a hint of a tear and a rueful smile, ‘Yes, Jonathan was a special man….very special…’. At night, the covers over that cavern slipping, she fell and could not breathe. While their babe slept, heaving sobs gripped her throat. She welcomed them, let them wash her grief, clear the stains of loss, the waste of his stinking sickness, and the happy times before he died and left her alone.
It got easier. Cassie smiled so brightly, and her golden hair, at first so sparse and fine, grew over her crown into thick, shiny tresses.
At nine months, Cassie played and cooed on her mat, flicking the crinkly cow’s tail and pressing the buzzy bee’s wings. Cassie lifted her chin to Mum sprinkling glitter, blissful blue eyes catching sparkles.
Doorbell. Letter. Who writes letters these days?
Darling Helen
Thank you for being so brave.
With all my love, always,
Your Jonathan
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February 23, 2015
Capability Scotland – The Great Scottish Book Off
Fran Macilvey books, Capability Scotland, reading, The Great Scottish Book Off, writing cerebral palsy, Memoir 2 Comments
Books, in one form or another, have been lent and borrowed for thousands of years. In the modern age, when kindles are all the rage, we cannot swap electronic devices so easily, when we wish to share our discoveries. ‘Real’ books remind us of the joy of sharing and engaging with others as we discover new reads. Books are made to be shared.
In the run-up to World Book Day on Thursday, 5th March, Capability Scotland are running the Great Scottish Book Off, inviting us all to dig out a few books we have read, and arrange a book swap event with our friends. The idea is to organise a get-together, charge a modest admission, and then pass any funds raised to Capability Scotland.
I am delighted to announce that on the evening of 5th March from 6.30 – 7.30 pm at Blackwells Bookstore, 53-62 South Bridge, Edinburgh, EH1 1YS. I will be giving a reading from Trapped and answering questions. Please join us if you can.
I am very grateful to Capability for inviting me to contribute to their fundraising campaign, and I am looking forward to a lively and friendly event.
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