Its Complicated

Having finally managed to get downstairs with a rucksack full of stuff for the second-hand store, and brought with me a walking stick and a waste bin which needed emptying, I reached the car and realised I had left my handbag – with car key – upstairs. So up again I went, only to be delayed by a phone-call while I was there.

My journey home was no less perplexing, with three walking sticks now in my car – which is the single, and which two are the pair? – as well as the empty bin, my rucksack and various other things. On the return leg, I forgot to bring the waste bin upstairs and so went down again to collect it sans walking stick. That small choice, for that small journey was a little fraught. Having recently hurt my back – how, I have no idea – walking without an aid outdoors is now more intimidating.

attilio baccani – lady reading a book – 1876

Thinking back on over the twenty-plus years of living here, I wonder, when and how did life get so complicated: two sets of elbow crutches, both different – a pair that fits in the boot of the car and another pair that are just fractionally too long and so repose on the back seat – a handbag, rucksack, shopping bags, waste and recycling… Everything takes a great deal longer than it used to, and each time I venture outside and downstairs I have to wonder, “Do I have everything? House keys – check! Handbag – check! Car key – check! Walking sticks – check! Phone – check!” Will I be able to manage everything with two elbow crutches? Or would it be better to manage in two or three trips up and down the stairs? Is my phone charged? Are my house keys in the trouser pocket with no hole? Which pocket is that?  

If you are amused, I am glad, and I agree, the palaver is fairly comical. But it can also be a little tiring and frustrating. I find that, instead of trying always to do things quickly – to “keep up” – it becomes easier to slow down and enjoy every moment, perhaps seeing it differently. How glad I am, still to be able to mobilise, after all.

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