So, why did I write Trapped? I have been astonished to notice, in the pavement, a flowering dandelion with roots so tenacious that the concrete is cracking around it. Similarly, when I was about forty-two, I knew I sat at a cross-roads, or, as a friend put it, on a roundabout, facing a number of choices and not sure which way to go. But I have always known that if I could simply summon the courage to begin writing, and writing in particular about my life, I could maybe find answers, and a new will to live which would crack open all my misconceptions and mistakes, and give me new room to move and breathe and begin again.
It is all very well and good, knowing the theories of happiness, but at times it is necessary to take the risk of experimenting with one’s own life and circumstances to see how they turn out. It is a bit like jumping off a cliff without a parachute and hoping that someone or something will catch you and lift you up: an eagle, a winged horse, a swan, the branch of a tree snagging on the back of your jacket, or a grassy ledge that we land on, breaking our free fall descent. Who knows how it will turn out?
The only way to know, is to have the courage to take risks, with friendships, with ideas and with every single opportunity that presents itself. And that, ultimately, is why I wrote Trapped. To test myself, and see how far I could go.
The journey is not over. In fact, in some ways, it is just beginning. There is still much to do. I have at least three more books to write and publish, and I welcome opportunities to promote all my books, wherever these chances originate. I am learning how valuable friendships are, that can originate in the most unlikely places. As my header says, every day is a fresh opportunity, and I intend to make the most of them. If that means I have to journey to Pittsburgh and subsist on peanut butter sandwiches for a week, or get a cleaner to take up some of the household jobs, or a PA man to help with admin and publicity, then bring it on! Life is for living, and that is why I write.
If anyone would like to contact me to discuss publicity, promotion or other ideas, please write here, or contact me at franmacilvey@fastmail.fm Thanks to everyone for reading, sharing, commenting, supporting and cheering me on. I love you all.
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November 28, 2014
How I Keep Going
Fran Macilvey acceptance, alternatives, freedom, ideas, inspiration, joy, learning, love, peace, writing 'Trapped: My Life with Cerebral Palsy' 2 Comments
How I Keep Going.
Boxes of chocolate are great, though they cause mood swings.
Better to canter downstairs and outside to gaze at the high sky in summer, or rustle up a dollop of good food to fire my synapses.
Reading is a must, my desire fed and watered at well-written books laced with self-deprecating humour.
Friends, who insist on dragging me out for lunch promptly on Wednesdays at noon, force me notice new views which feed the written word.
My daughter, with her too-big bike, who gazes smilingly into our dark hallway through the glass, offers a joyful lift with her smile, despite the interruption.
Enjoying holidays, I discover, refreshes my spirit in ways that a computer screen simply cannot.
Out in the wilds of creative impulse, towering above, proud and unashamed, is the desire to weave bliss in words. I choose, I focus on fully; and like the space between worlds where magic is revealed, all else falls away. My yearning to write colour into breathing, fuels the determination to continue: My choice, my power, my wings, my life.
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