Why did I write Trapped
Occasionally, puzzled people have asked, abruptly, why did I write Trapped. Why did I pursue my dream of publication? Do I not object to the invasion of my privacy and the laying bare of my intimate life?
Yes, well. I always felt I could write, comfortably enough to attract an enthusiastic A+ in essay writing from a stiff and challenging teacher with a soft centre: ‘excellent story, Fran, but I can’t think WHAT has happened to your handwriting!’ I have always written, and eventually it became obvious (probably because I could not fritter away my time being a barmaid or a waitress) that I should stop chasing after what I would never be able to do, and focus on what I could do. It seemed silly to pretend that writing was frivolous and unimportant, especially as I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that I enjoy it.
I got to forty, and thought, hey, I’ve arrived, and getting old seems to be the world’s best kept secret. I became even more sedate and withdrawn, dignified, as a forty-year-old thinks she has to be. But as I cranked up some steam into the following decade, I knew I was hiding, and that my personal silence was much less important than finally – finally – letting my family discover who I was, and that I really, really love them. My parents grow frailer, my siblings have their own issues and challenges, and my husband and daughter could do with a few more clues about me. I thought it might be helpful if I could maybe throw some love and understanding their way: come to terms, discard those grudges that go back years, empty out the pot of resentment and clear away the backlog of mistaken assumptions. Writing helps with all these aspects of growing up. The process of learning to write and having the courage to publish is in itself so rewarding, that even if I knew then, what I know now (how long it would take, how much pain there would be) I would still accept the challenge. A bit of discomfort is never a reason to shy away from home truths.
In case you missed it, here is an interview with Claire Wingfield which was first published on 29th September on her blog. Please visit her blog, comment and share. And thanks for reading this.