To help my daughter
By writing with energy and commitment, I hope to demonstrate a good example to my daughter. I know how much she copies me without being aware she is doing so, and my awareness of this process teaches me the importance of being a good example to follow. In this, we both win.
In a world in which women are still under-represented and often undervalued, it becomes a good idea to teach my daughter that she can thrive if she plays to her strengths; and that women can succeed by working doggedly at something which inspires them. They, as much as their male counterparts, have the right to devote time and energy to the things they enjoy.
I need to teach Seline that persistence is rewarded. What will that reward be? Feelings of personal satisfaction? The joy of discovering humour and excitement, of seeing something we have made and realising, ‘I made this, and actually, it’s really good!’ The pleasure of public recognition? A pay cheque? It doesn’t matter what motivates us, as long as we use our energy and awareness productively.
In writing almost solidly for the last nine years, I have finally – finally! – demonstrated to my doubting Thomas self the value of the power waiting to be unleashed when I work hard for long periods without apparent reward. In fact, I can demonstrate that already, as my daughter’s own work attitude has improved and from my example she is indeed learning the value of persistence.
We invest in the thoughts, hopes, ideas, dreams and plans that we find most energising. We then need the courage to see them as far to completion as we can, while allowing others to help us by offering suggestions, time, space and financial support to continue. I have spent money in the pursuit of my dreams, and often the investment, looked at in the cold light of day, would seem to be beyond sensible. But then, we all invest in our hopes. It is an investment worth making, even if the tangible rewards are hard to quantify.
Thank you for reading.
Please share:
February 22, 2016 @ 9:07 pm
What a wonderful post about your daughter and you! Your discipline and your love for her and for yourself are so visible in this piece. Thanks, Fran! As always, you give me hope and inspire me! You and your daughter are blessed to have each other.
Love, hugs and sunshine,
Elouise 🙂
February 23, 2016 @ 12:21 pm
Thank you so much, Elouise! We all bless each other, isn’t that so? I certainly learn from my daughter, and we teach each other, all the time. xxx 🙂
February 23, 2016 @ 5:18 am
Thank you Fran. Another gem (from my university tutor who spent her first 25 years living as a man): “The great thing about being a girl is you don’t have to show off so much. You are here to study, not to show off.”
She really helped me feel less intimidated by my peers in Cambridge, many of whom turned out to be just as terrified as I was (typically female), or perfectly striding and terrifying the rest of us – and failing after first year.
February 23, 2016 @ 12:25 pm
Thanks for your comment, Sari! We have to find ways to be true to ourselves, so that we can be serene and not trample around with our opinions. It has taken me years to get this far, and I’m still going, but, I hope, more slowly and gently. I like the comparison with the hare and the tortoise. The hare dashing about sees very little, whereas the tortoise, plodding slowly, has time to let his view widen out, and he can see farther. xxx 🙂
February 23, 2016 @ 5:42 am
Fran this was beautiful in so many respects. The message you gave your daughter. The realization of your effect on her life. Your relationship with her. Thank you — I am pleased to hear that you too are close to your daughter. And I loved your line about investing in HOPE
February 23, 2016 @ 12:27 pm
Thank you so much, Carol. You are most thoughtful. I discover that we are learning from each other all the time, which makes me gentler and more relaxed. I believe that hope is well worth investing in, even though we can’t always see that.
Bless you! 🙂