Happiness is….
Happiness has a varying quality, as dependent on the time of day as the seasons of the year and whether we enjoy our work today or would rather be reading a good book or having a snooze.
But, just for a bit of whimsy, here are some things that I think help to make us happy, or at least, happier today.
Peace to listen and be quiet; but not so much peace that we feel lonely.
Time to reflect, to check that we are content with what we are doing in this moment.
The time to relax and do nothing. We live in a culture that sets so little store on rest for the sake of enjoyment; and yet, if we cannot relax and be content, why not?
The confidence to state our case clearly and calmly until we know we have been heard.
The confidence to choose what we want to be, to have or to do, without worrying unduly about what we think others expect from us. Prioritising our own wishes will, at the end of the day, save a great deal of personal grief and silent betrayal. I’m not sure who it was who said, ‘Failure to please oneself is not merely betrayal; it is the highest betrayal.’
The courage to respect our decisions and, having decided, to follow through with them.
Remembering to laugh as much as possible.
The ability to be flexible, without becoming upset. We may be interrupted by the phone, by our domestic duties, by the front door bell ringing. And sometimes, this helps us to switch away from preoccupations which…let us say, might not be the most helpful.
The ability to regroup.
Thanks so much for reading.
Please share:
March 19, 2018 @ 8:09 pm
My favorite line: “The confidence to state our case clearly and calmly until we know we have been heard.” My tendency has been to back down or settle for something less than I really meant to say. Very challenging! And not good for happiness.
This has been especially challenging in my marriage (thinking D knows more/better than I), and in my experience as a dean. Being female has been more difficult than I ever imagined. Not just because of kickback, but because of my internal need to be liked and approved of.
Thanks for this thought-provoking post. Very timely.
March 19, 2018 @ 9:26 pm
You are so welcome – your validation of what I write is so totally life-affirming, I want to rush over and give you a hug.
It only recently dawned on me that being clear and confident enough to say what we want, until we know we are acknowledged, is very, very liberating. It is important, too, because otherwise, misunderstandings and conditioning just kick in and kick all our hopes for clearer dialogue into the long grass, where it languishes under the weight of mutual disappointment. None of which is conducive to happiness, is it?
One point you rarely touch on – or do you? I might have missed it – is the overwhelmingly patriarchal nature of traditional Christianity. I love Yeshua so much, yet I find the assumptions of patriarchy in faith particularly irksome, even when giving them their proper, forgiving, faith perspective. Not even so much for what they are, but for the warp that so many people put on them, to justify all kinds of petty cruelties.
Being liked and approved of is not a mostly female preserve; but women are conditioned to it. I was watching a serious programme this evening about the gender pay gap; and while it was admitted often and freely that women were and have been paid less for the same work, no-where was it suggested that they should ever be paid more… and yet, since women are used to advertise everything from submission to domination, perhaps they should be paid extra!
I’m learning not to sell myself short, but it is hard to see it, sometimes, let alone have the courage to counter it calmly or with certitude. 🙂