The Rights & Wrongs of Writing

September 1, 2017

The longer we leave it

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The longer we leave it…

We all have these key moments, when we have to do what it is staring us in the face, or go stir crazy.

Like the time I decided, ‘Right, I have to write my memoir. I have to do this, or I’ll die. And, it might kill me in the process – from embarrassment, anxiety, exhaustion, sadness – but God dammit, I’d rather die trying, than die of boredom and depression and regret. If writing this – and going through hell – is what it takes, then fine! I’ll take that chance.

Life always gives us challenges. And the longer we ignore them, block them out, dodge them or make excuses, the harder will be the next tests we face. Similar challenges form a pattern that may be very familiar, and will tend to revisit and repeat, until we get the message that, yes, we do have to deal with this head on. The longer we prevaricate, the greater the challenge grows, just to test our resolve. We have to take our courage in both hands and clamber aboard. The longer we leave it….

But such challenges are offered for a reason: perhaps to allow us to recognise and rework a defeatist pattern, to teach self worth; even, sometimes, to resolve issues have haunted us forever, such as a pattern of failure or settling for painful compromises, never allowing our true colours to shine bright.

In my next non-fiction book, Making Miracles, which is set for release in 2018, I share my dream diary, in the writing and re-reading of which, I recognised repeating patterns that have persisted over lifetimes. These I had to take on board if I wanted to make progress in this life. Luckily, I did, in the nick of time.

So let’s follow our dreams, people! The world needs folks with courage and faith to do what they know they have to. Let’s live like today is our best day.

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August 30, 2017

How to keep writing memoir

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How to keep writing memoir

Rest assured, it is very useful to write a book – to write anything – even if we don’t get round to finishing it. We learn a lot in the process, and we figure out stuff which perhaps isn’t suitable for anyone else to read anyway, so that’s all good. In any case, as any writer will tell you, ‘finishing’ has a rather subjective aspect to it: is a book we are writing ever ‘finished’?

But writing memoir can feel peculiarly, individually self-obsessed, so it feels almost easier than in most creative endeavours, to say, ‘What am I doing this for? I should give up now, before I get carried away … before I end up being swallowed up in this idiotic undertaking. What do I know, anyway?’

It is so easy then, to shut the book and never go back to it. It lies around on the shelf, while we feel uncomfortable and slightly ashamed. I know all about that.

Self belief is fundamental for doing anything as intangible as writing.

There are those who will, when you tell them snippets from your life, nod encouragingly and say, ‘Hey, you have had a really interesting life, I’d love to read about it!’ But by and large, writing memoir is a private undertaking, best understood alone and fashioned in private into something that may, eventually, end up being something more.

It takes years, though. Unlike all the rags to riches stories favoured of Hollywood and Bollywood of starlets immediately getting that sign-up, or winning a national talent contest, ‘instant success’ for authors is usually the result of about ten years of hard graft. So, be prepared to work hard for nothing, for a long time.

Doesn’t sound promising, does it? But when the chips are down, we rarely write memoir because of the tangible, commercial rewards. We write because challenges have to be met sometime, so we might as well meet them while we can, head on.

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August 28, 2017

How to write memoir

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How to write memoir

I have written a memoir. The process was long, surprisingly painful and full of the steepest learning curves imaginable.

But through a period of about seven years, I did realise that, though writing memoir is not necessarily straightforward, there are things to bear in mind. We might start by deciding, first, what we do not need, when embarking on writing our memoir.

We do not need:-

  • Any qualification in literature, creative writing or equivalent.
  • A law degree or formal adult education to fend off critics or lawsuits.
  • To conduct embarrassing interviews with friends and family.

For now, here is a glimpse of what you might find helpful to write memoir

  • A work ethic or method to get you started
  • A willingness to make time
  • An desire to continue, bordering on the obsessive
  • Willingness to listen
  • Patience to undertake literally hundreds of rewrites
  • The willingness to change your understanding when casual conversations with family reveal that you may have got something wrong
  • A willingness to come clean and be honest
  • Playful optimism and the ability to laugh when it all gets too much and you feel like throwing in the towel.

This is a light-hearted list, incomplete and perhaps even a bit contentious. We each have our own list of what we need. What’s missing? Ah yes, of course.

  • The desire to write our story
  • Something to write about.

If we start writing, and realise that our work is, well, boring, we can do several things we can do with

We can

  • throw out what we have written and start again. Given that, after a million re-writes, nothing in your original MS will remain, this is a perfectly feasible option.
  • Go out and live an interesting life, and then come back and write about it. We might be twenty years too early.

Thanks so much for reading.

 

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August 25, 2017

Failure to please oneself

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Failure to please oneself…

“Maldives sunset silhouettes” by Creative Independence

 

One mantra running going through my head, helps to answer some of my current dilemmas. It has been useful to me lately, thankfully, or else I would find myself very lost.

“….Betrayal of your Self in order not to betray another is betrayal nonetheless. It is the highest betrayal….” comes from Conversations with God Volume 1.

Yes, I know what that means and what it entails for me right now. But it is hard to honour the tasks that have been set for me to do when others’ needs press so much on me and I feel so pulled towards them.

We all have times when we ask, ‘What will happen to that, if I do nothing about it? Will it die without me? What would that death do to those who are relying on me and who are so dear to me? Will it wait a few more years for me to come back to it? Should I allow other’s need to overtake mine, even if that becomes a great fat obligation that I know – I know – is entirely the wrong motivation and will procure and produce little of use. So many questions, each with their own peculiar pain.

I know that doing things because we feel obliged to, is the wrong reason, and, even despite all the work it might entail, is ultimately an empty gesture.

How do I express my love for those I adore, by letting them down?

There is another way to look at this. By doing what I don’t want to do – not yet, though I feel obliged to and might get round to it some day – am I trespassing on someone else’s karma? Am I smudging their path, which is for them to walk? Worse, is that the kind of interference which will come back to bite us both on the ankle? Ouch! I don’t much like the sound of that.

Imagine spending five years – for that is the least time it would take to do this job well – and then to discover that, actually, no-one is pleased or grateful. Even if they are, I probably won’t have been. Better by far to do what I can, when I feel it is the right time. It is hard to trust though, very hard to let go, when I am so used to expressing my love by ‘helping’ others.

There is no going back to the patterns of old, whatever we decide. We can only go forward, doing what our hearts call us to do.

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August 23, 2017

Where do you get your ideas

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Reader question – Where do you get your ideas from?

Writers are asked lots of questions, including, Where do you get your ideas from? and Do you model your characters on people you’ve met?

Our ideas come partly from life, yes, and the small anecdotes that for some reason we recall, even after ten, twenty or even forty years, because they had a sort of sticking quality. Once upon a time, they pierced the grey matter in our heads and have hung on – the incident of the sugar bowl on the terrace, the broken door, cross Mummy, the peculiar scent of those flowers… All that kind of detail finds its way into what we write, one way or another. Doubtless, we are not even aware we may be doing it: But given that we write about who and what we are, that is inevitable.

Do I model my characters on people I’ve met? Sometimes, though I try to only do that deliberately – I may write about my father and share memories of him; If I think of a motherly figure, someone who shares those qualities with me might surface to lend colouring to a short story.

Otherwise, no, I don’t lift people wholesale onto my pages. I am as likely to get my character leads from the world of fiction, and I would like to keep my friends and respect their privacy. In any case, there are as many possible characters and traits as there are atoms in the universe. We hardly need to plagiarise real people, do we?

Though as disciples of the written word we don’t typically end the day smeared in sticky smudges of violent colour and with turps in our hair, neither writing nor authorship are derivative, any more than photography is derivative of art. Writing has its peculiar pleasures, disciplines and creative outcomes. And my characters? Are totally themselves. Where they come from and what they will do, only they can tell me.

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June 30, 2017

Ongoing projects

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Ongoing projects

I have several ongoing projects, as I work best that way. The third book in my memoir/ MBS series, called, ‘Making Miracles’ is scheduled for publication before the end of the year; and the first of my fiction series, Lisa Somerville is being rewritten; these are my next two book projects for 2017.

But I also have some editing on-board for my mother, who has a lot of books to finish; plus – of course – all the usual routines and expectations which go with being a wife and mum – who is, let’s face it, rather tired, slightly over the hill and needs and enjoys a rest and a laugh, away from the usual pressures of routine. The older I get, the more I relish simple laughter, the more I find that relaxation keeps me going, deeply and more meaningfully than I realised before: what is the point of living so hard that we haven’t the time to laugh?

I’m keen to keep these projects going over the summer holidays; and yet, I really want a holiday too. From previously finding the time away from term routines bothersome, now I welcome the excuse to leave behind my usual shape and form, and move outside to different places, where I can feel refreshed, meet new people and benefit from a wider perspective. I don’t feel that any of that ‘gets in the way’ the way I used to – now it feels like a life-saver.

Perhaps that is one major advantage of getting older. I’m less bothered by what I suppose people expect, I simply want to feel happy, and that can happen in lots of simple ways: it’s not the expensive purchase, the delicious, exotic meals; it is simply setting routines aside for a day, or a weekend, and enjoying being happy, doing simple things like catching up on reading, warming my shoulders in the sun, phoning someone for a leisurely chat.

Thanks to all my friends for making life more fun than I ever thought possible; and thank you to Life for bringing the Summer vacation, during which I shall work, play and laugh at every opportunity. I hope to swim in the sea, dance carefully at nightfall and eat simple food sitting in the sun. Simple pleasures, and valuable.

Thanks for reading.

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May 30, 2017

Waiting to see

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Waiting to see

In the midst of setting up the paperback of Happiness Matters for publication, I find myself quite literally waiting to see what it looks like. I have ordered a first proof from CreateSpace, and another proof copy from IngramSpark and I will be delighted, as well as intrigued, when they arrive. How will they compare? Which copy will have the edge? I’ll let you know.

It isn’t just publication that is now waiting for the next stages. Lots of other things in my life seem to be hanging at that ‘soon but not quite yet’ moment before stuff happens. (Our kitchen badly needs a revamp: I am happy to live without a working dishwasher – I had no idea how expensive they were to run– but with the best will in the world, am finding it a challenge to live without a dishwasher, a freezer and an oven, and with a fridge on its last legs.  Hopefully I can get some ideas about that in the next few days.)

Because of the number of things I have on my mind, my writing and editing – of which I am so fond – are taking a reluctant back seat. Yes, I could write a few paragraphs here and there, I could slot in some writing around and about everything else that is going on, but would what I write be any good? Would I find myself going over it again? Probably.

I have found, to my cost, that there is absolutely no point forcing myself to meet daily targets, deadlines, as what I produce suffers and has to be re-written, painfully, at a more considered pace. So, I comfort myself that all my hopes and plans will come together at the best time, and are still on the right track.

In any case, life is to be lived in the meantime, and I aim to stay happy. If that means taking it slow and careful, then that is what I shall do.

Thanks for reading.

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May 15, 2017

‘Choose Me’ by Kay Langdale

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Book Review – ‘Choose Me’ by Kay Langdale

It’s very rare that I read a book I really, really don’t want to end. A book in which I feel so invested, I want to congratulate the characters for what they have achieved.

This is the story of how a young boy’s mother dies, leaving him an orphan – his father, a shadowy figure, introduced his mother to the drug habit which killed her and apparently left behind nothing, except that Billy looks exactly like him – and the quest to find Billy a new family. Since Billy is not a cute Guatemalan girl of five, his chances, apparently, are less than bright, especially after his mother’s parents turn away from him in their grief.

What strikes me about this novel is the strength of the characterisations. I agonise with the social worker, charged with the job of finding Billy a new family; I empathise with the grandparents, riven and destroyed by grief, blinded to the needs of their grandson until it is almost too late. The thoughtful and searching interplay of the characters is so true to life, I was pulled along by this story, and now I really want to hear more about them, and what happened next. Will Kay Langdale write a follow-up?

Motivations are part of what make a book credible, whether the ending is happy or not. If the characters come alive to me, and I can hear their voices, I don’t really care if they believe in Santa, live in a mansion in Santa Barbara, or in a squat in Glasgow. I want to listen to their voices, hear their story and cheer them on. And Kay Langdale manages that process so beautifully, Choose Me really is a marvellous story.

I won’t tell you what happens, because I think you should read it.

 

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May 7, 2017

Every indie author is different

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Every indie author is different.

We all do things in our own ways, and indie publishing is one area in life where it is impossible to generalise. The technology and the rules, the specifics are always changing, so publication represents a best guess snatch at the options, which will have changed again by this time tomorrow.

But how exciting to realise that the indie landscape is constantly evolving: so many other landscapes are fixed and uniform, it is delightful to consider that indie publishing creates and fosters a huge number of choices, an infinite number of options.

It has been commonplace to assume that indie publishing is the new kid on the block, a parvenu who has a lot to learn. But indies have a lot to teach, also, about the power of publishing, the mobility of modern communication trends, and the right of all to have access to publishing media. Many, many books which have long been classics on our shelves started life as indie published books, modern indie publishing merely refreshes a trend that has been around for hundreds of years. In some ways, indies are keeping alive a noble tradition, and helping the industry to evolve and keep pace with modern communications.

A president of the Michigan Savings Bank said to Henry Ford’s lawyer, “The horse is here to stay, but the automobile is only a novelty—a fad.” He ignored the advice. Publication is an adventure that we learn from, and that teaches us there are as many publication variables as there are flowers in the park, and the remit is constantly expanding.

I am enjoying preparing my second book Happiness Matters for publication, which should be happening later on this month. The details of how that will work, once broken down into bite-size chunks, are manageable…and meantime, I’m looking forward to having another publication to my credit, another string to my bow to make music with.

Thank you so much for reading!

 

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May 4, 2017

Taking Advice

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Taking advice

It is good to listen to our audience, and taking advice is always useful, whether that is from a single reader or a roomful of expectant hopefuls. As I may have mentioned, writing is a solitary and often isolating preoccupation, so it is essential to maintain contact with people in the real world outside. Without that grounding, our work, and our whole world, can come adrift.

But…. we mustn’t listen so hard to our audience – unless we are a paid writer of text for a company brochure or publicity machine – that we become bendy like spaghetti.

For a first-time fiction author, the temptation is to listen and incorporate all changes, ideas, thoughts and suggestions, in the hope that doing so will make our work more appealing and marketable. But our energy creates our work, and if we listen too closely to what others might suggest – do we run the risk that we give up writing all together?

Who are we writing for? Ourselves, first of all. The first stage of any creative project must be free of self-consciousness. It must be free to fly and fart in the face of critics and friends alike, blissfully shielded from concerns about marketability, reader appeal or plot holes. That kind of energy is what makes writing a joy, a privilege and a rare pleasure, and while in the midst of creative frenzy, we have to feel free to say, ‘Go away, I’m not finished yet.’

That initial process is taking me far longer than I thought it would. With my rational mind, I calculated a year is enough time to get a book down and dusted. But, creatively, especially as I work best with several projects on the go at once, I’m finding that two years is about my minimum. The longer time-frame, paradoxically, allows me to work more freely, not worried about time scales and deadlines. And in all that time, we are really writing for ourselves, first – because that – selfish? – motivation keeps the voice alive, allows it to anchor and refine, before other people get a look in.

Thanks for reading.

 

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