Fran Macilvey

December 11, 2017

Caveats when writing memoir

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Caveats when writing memoir

Memoir means, memory, so, with that in mind, there are a few caveats to mention when writing memoir.

Sitting as it does on the bridge between pure fiction – novels – and fact, narrative non-fiction (as it is known in the trade) – memoir – has to tread a very careful line between what we reveal of our own lives, and what we borrow from other lives.

Bearing that in mind, tread carefully.

  • Stick to your own path, and do not trespass on the paths of others, except where the details you borrow are unexceptionable – no one will care whether the dress that Aunt Jane was wearing at your fifth birthday party was pink or blue. That said, if you are writing about your fifth birthday party, there is always the possibility that you actually remember the dress in question.

 

  • Continuity fictions should also be unexceptionable. In blending what you remember with what is likely to have happened but is in point of fact imagined, stick to benevolent details such as the time of day, school timetables, ordinary conversations and everyday situations. Your parents may have got divorced when you were twelve, and it may have cast a catastrophic blight over your adolescence, but you can only write about how that made you feel or act, not about the reasons for your parents’ divorce. Readers will not necessarily understand this nice distinction.

 

  • On the other hand, you can write about the reasons for your parents’ divorce if you genuinely believe(d) that it was because of you, and have some interesting anecdotes to support that belief. You will be wrong – many children blame themselves for their parents’ divorce, and it is never the fault of the child, but the situation can offer interesting psychological slants.

 

  • You do not have to tell the truth, when you write your memoirs. Memory is frequently mistaken. But if you are going to get it wrong, try, again, to explain that error in the context of juvenile misunderstanding, perhaps; or gird it round with the honesty of your belief. I honestly thought that Jake the gardener was Mum’s boyfriend, I saw them kissing once; is excusable, even if wrong. Mum and Dad got divorced because Mum had an affair with the gardener is not excusable. Generally, misunderstandings crop up because we are too young to understand the bigger picture. That kind of naivety is excusable so long as it is obvious from the tone and tenor of our writing.

Thanks for reading!

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December 9, 2017

When all around you are saying No

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When all around you are saying No

It’s not so easy to write when there are other things to get done. When all around you are saying NO that truly tests whether we can persist with our writing.

Opposition is helpful. It empowers us to clarify what is important to us, and why. It helps us to articulate our reasons, and to defend our choices. So be grateful for the critics! But do not allow them to undermine your own authentic choices. (Not those decisions that are dictated by necessity and expectation, as much as those that colour our lives.)

It may not always be easy to know why, or indeed how, we should write. So, if you need encouragement, here are a few easy tips to help focus on the daily task of writing, and get some done each day.

When we are in the mood, we can write five words, and make them meaningful. Then we write the next ten. Then one paragraph, then a second, then to the end of the page. Just keep going to the end of the line, the next paragraph, and before we know it, we will have the equivalent of a short story, or the first chapter of a novel or memoir.

I started writing because these pictures were coming into my head that I could feel and taste. As I allowed that process space to unfold, gradually, scenes from my past opened up to me as I was writing, and brought with them a vast store of memories I had forgotten, in sequences that may not have been perfect, but were a good place to start. Perhaps that will happen to you, or perhaps you will find that the information comes to you as you write words on the page.

What matters most is the decision and the follow-through.

Thanks so much for reading!

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November 29, 2017

Renewing my ITIN

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Renewing my ITIN

A lot has changed since I first applied for an ITIN in 2013. If you are in a hurry and have applied previously for an ITIN, this is the current position:

~There is a new consul here at the Consulate in Edinburgh, so I do not recommend relying on an existing certified copy, even if you will be submitting the same ten-year passport as previously to obtain a notarised copy.

~The consulate charges $50 for each notarised copies, ($100 for two…)

~Walk-in appointments are available at the Edinburgh Consulate on Tuesdays from 9.00 am to 12.30 pm and on Wednesdays from 9.00 to 3.30 pm The American Embassy in London no longer handles ITIN applications or routes them to Austin, Texas.

~There is no toll-free phone line to the US to check on the status of an application. There is still a dedicated phone-line, but it is charged at the full rate.

While chatting with the clerk who handled my application, the advice was basically to fill in the IRS W7 form – it has been updated recently, as has the guidance, so please be careful which boxes you tick –  and send it to Austin, Texas, with the original certified copy of one’s passport and business paperwork (after having taken several good copies) and hope for the best.

If anyone would like a more detailed look at the process, you can check out this page. It goes without saying – but I’ll say it anyway – that a close look at the guidance notes – and remembering to swap round your dates – month, day, year – is very instructive.

I’ll let you know how the process goes. Fingers crossed.

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November 23, 2017

Tiptoeing through my words

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Tiptoeing through my words

I don’t know about you, but I find writing a story an exhilarating, but somehow unnerving, experience.

What if I tell the story all wrong? Miss the chance to commit something wonderful to the page and end up with an account that is merely satisfactory? In some ways, the blank page of the empty book is so reassuring, because, in it, anything is still possible, nothing is committed, fixed or final.

I’m not a commitment-phobe, I hasten to add, it’s simply that I worry I have the wrong story, when there are so many out there to locate and try to frame with words. One might feel a certain sympathy for youngsters starting out in the world, where their horizons are so broad they too, might be wary of taking the wrong paths, a detour – or a derailment? – that might alter one’s whole course.

And in some ways, that’s how I feel every time I start a new novel. My characters will of course help me to write what they want me to – they are usually quite clear about that – but there is still this sense of embarking on a new, smooth path, which, if I am careless, might end up all crinkled and awkward.

A good friend says I have a habit of deciding that it is better to do nothing, rather than the wrong thing; what she calls a ‘clever delay mechanism’ though I suspect she is being kind. If in doubt, I do nothing; which is something my mother used to say – “If in doubt, do nowt.” So that I have very often done nothing.

Perhaps that is a little bit defeatist, and perhaps a better way when I am unsure is to inch forward with small steps. Hopefully, that will get me used to the idea of constant momentum, even if by tiny degrees; a small step is better than a stand-still.

 

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October 30, 2017

Memoir writing for starters

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Memoir writing for starters

(The title of this blog post is tongue-in-cheek. We all have to begin somewhere.)

How we write memoir depends hugely on why we are writing. But assuming we have sorted through our motivations and decided to go ahead, there are a few more practical tips that might help to get our particular story written.

~Write someone else’s story first. You don’t need to write ‘the truth’ or anything like it. You don’t need a book length endeavour either: A couple of good anecdotes with which you truly empathise and which you can imagine in glowing detail, is enough to help us begin to see life from different perspectives and to describe it. One thing writing memoir taught me is that there is no such thing as the truth, and that, ‘the past is a foreign country. They do things differently there.’ Building empathy is crucial to balanced writing, and for that, even an imaginary story from someone else’s point of view is helpful.

~To begin with, it helps to set aside some time every day to get used to actually writing, and being available for that. If we have timetabled time, it follows that we respect it and come to treasure it as the opportunity we allow ourselves each day to go exploring. As we get more used to writing and build it into our daily routines, we can vary our patterns, and discover for ourselves what works.

~Listen out for any snippets of conversation. If you have a retentive mind for detail, politely ask for clarity on any anecdote that explains, or brightens the account.

~Do some on-line research for details, to get you in the mood to go exploring.

~Call yourself a writer, and feel the conviction grow that what we do here is worthwhile. We may not see any obvious dividends, but when we feel energised, excited, relieved… these are good signs that we are on the right lines.

~Write in silence, so that you can hear clearly what you want to write.

~Build a sympathetic writers network that can help you to respect, plan and focus on your writing.

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October 27, 2017

A very patient woman

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I’ve become a very patient woman.

I’ve become a very patient woman. How to explain that in the last two years our family has endured upheavals and difficulties that, even five years ago, would have torn me apart. Yet now, I am more relaxed, much happier and more accepting of all circumstances. Even awful times make me grateful for the good times, and for every shaft of light that settles on my face after a hard day.

My mother is unwell, and it is not much of an exaggeration to say that the stress of the last two years has been a major contributor to her fragile health. I really hope that she recovers. And I hope that soon, all the legal wrangles that we have endured will be at an end; or at least, at a place where we can think about our father and brother without worrying about legal niceties.

I trained as a lawyer, which I used to say was a pity, a wrong turning I took on the road, a major detour that marred two decades of my life. Now, I’m not so categorical. I am immensely grateful that, working from home, I have been able to field and read countless emails from firms of notaries in French, Flemish and English, that I have been able to listen to my mother’s questions and advice, and hopefully reassure her that, yes, everything will soon be sorted out. (In this process I have also learned that soon is relative and one might as well ask, ‘How long is a piece of string?’ but that is perhaps a story for another day.) And through a maze of labyrinthine complexity, my legal training has helped me to keep my cool and to persist with legal nit-picks. I have been upset, I have even broken down a couple of times, but given the pressures, that is good odds, and I am pleased with this sign of progress.

Your prayers for my mother’s recovery would be so appreciated. ‘And so we go on rejoicing’ as she would say.

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October 25, 2017

No laptop for me

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No laptop for me, IDS

Funny what I think about in the middle of the night. I can’t use a laptop. Strange, the realisation that it’s not worth the heartache of buying one of these svelte beauties only to see it crushed or dented when, as will come the day, I trip and fall while carrying it. Not to mention what that’ll do to my wrists, elbows, etc.

Which led me inexorably on – as these things do – to the injustices of Universal Credit, a scheme dreamed up, in all its complacent cruelty by the great Ian Duncan Smith, who, having planted this pseudo democratic notion in the minds of enforcers, has conveniently abandoned any position of authority from which he might mitigate its worst effects. His subsequent apparent change of heart and resignation from the cabinet is gesture politics at its most pointless.

But my point is, Universal Credit, introduced by Westminster conservatives to mimic the universalist character of Universal Basic Income and to offer the comforting illusion that the welfare state is non-judgemental and fair, is an impossible scheme, intended to be accessed and assessed on-line (in a constituency for which basic literacy is still a major issue. Texting is ill preparation for the simplistic brutality of on-line questionnaires). Those who depend on welfare benefits to top up in-work pay or to shell out bus fares to attend interviews (non-attendance at which can lead to sanctions) are not going to be worrying about laptops. They might be worrying about their phone credit, but how many people will access benefits from their phones?

Doing it on-line sounds sexy, fun, quick and easy, but only for those who can take the basics – a plug, an electrical supply, a computer, patience, distraction-free time, warmth and comprehension – for granted. And anyone with these advantages is not likely to be the person most in need of welfare support.

A quick glance at IDS on Wikipedia suggests that he is not short of a penny. So it’s rather sad that from the comfort of his family’s wealth he has been central in forcing those who are already down on their luck into a system which is arbitrary, slow and painful to navigate. It may not matter to IDS if he doesn’t get paid for six weeks. He might not miss the occasional sanction for turning up late; but a sanction under UC affects the entire payment, including housing benefit.

Those who apply sanctions are so rarely called to account – and by the time they are, the damage has been done, so that’s all right, then. Frankly, I’m embarrassed to be part of a society which has the unbridled power to impose pie in the sky schemes against those who have so few resources with which to fight back. Since ancient times, those in power have sought to clean up and educate the masses. I wish they would just offer us all dignity.

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October 23, 2017

One step at a time

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One step at a time

One step at a time, one paragraph. One page, one chapter. That is how we write anything – novels, memoir – and there are no short cuts, really, in the process of producing reams of writing.

So the best thing I can recommend if you are in a hurry is to learn to type properly. It always astonishes me that in this age of technology, that people still type with one finger…Must drive them nuts! You cannot write anything well if you are typing one finger at a time.

I can only give some indication of knowing what to do, by sharing with you what I would do. So, I would, at this juncture in the creative process, ask for the words to come into my fingers, pay attention and write whatever comes, without thinking too much about syntax. That is what I do, when life works for me.

I don’t work all that well with pressure, with any sense that I have to work at this or else…! I hate the sense of threat that comes from setting a routine and then failing to meet self-imposed deadlines. So I write best when I know I’m going to enjoy it, or even, when I feel as if the words are flying through me, without conscious thought. It’s hardly deliberate, it’s more a case of an itch that has to be scratched. I can write direct onto computer, or longhand with a pen.

Each of us has different strengths that we bring to writing, and each of us has to have the courage and honesty to face up to our techniques and consciously devise a method that works. It doesn’t matter if other people call it ‘haphazard’ or ‘casual’ – if it works for you, believe in it.

And believe in your writing.

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October 18, 2017

Memoir nuts and bolts

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Memoir nuts and bolts

So we have decided we have the time, and we are going to do this. Pen in hand, we sit at our PCs and we start writing.

People ask me, “How do you start writing memoir? I mean, how do you actually do it?” And the answer is, one word at a time. Yes, it sounds simple, but everything we do, all our endeavours, can be broken down into small steps, in which case, writing memoir begins with the decision to write, followed by that tap-tap at the PC which means we are busy.

I started writing memoir because I was forced to, in a way. It seemed to be the right time, and something was nudging me, saying, ‘I know you have hundreds of excuses but this is the right time, and no, there is nothing better you can be doing…’ Which got me thinking.

About what to write, of course, but also about the other reasons that might make me write: reasons to do with self expression, with the curative effects of being honest about stuff, perhaps for the first time in forty years…

Coming out from the emotional equivalent of a concrete shell after thirty-five years of being self effacing, is in fact so challenging, that it is only possible to write a little at a time. One chapter, one page, a sketch of one circumstance. But it is so valuable, that start. It is the beginning of a new way to self define, as a writer, as a person who is hopeful and courageous.

So take up the pen, switch on the PC and start anywhere. With one word, one line, one full stop. Once we take off the lid and allow ourselves permission, the next word will arrive, and the one after that.

Okay, so now is not the time to discourage any writer by saying, ‘It takes about a million words before we find our voices’ but really, life is about progress in small steps.

 

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October 16, 2017

Ready to begin writing

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Ready to begin writing

So, if we are ready to begin writing. Whether memoir or fiction, sweet stuff or friction, we will need:-

~Computer at the ready.

~Phones off the hook or switched off.

If we work from home, the first thing to realise is that not only are our own personal temptations to stop writing legion, but everyone else we come into contact with on a daily basis will assume, because we answer the phone or the doorbell, that we are available. To them, a body at home = a free hand to help with a dozen interruptions.

~Time blocked out in the diary in which to prioritise this writing undertaking. How will we parcel out our time?

Helpfully, our work habits evolve naturally, and will vary depending on our other commitments and the time we have available to be alone.

There have been times when I can confidently block out whole days in my diary to work. Problem then, is, I tend to be so tired I drift, fritter away the opportunity or fall asleep. Though if there is a deadline looming, I am very happy to work all day.

Nowadays, I rather like the patchwork approach. I do a lot of things in a day – go swimming, help with deliveries, tidy our apartment, do the recycling – but I keep my eye on the main focus, which is writing, and fit that in around what I am doing. Then, even if it is only half an hour here and there, I will refuse to answer the phone and simply work doggedly.

This has the advantage that I can stay reasonably fit as I work alongside the other parts of my life – a vital consideration in an occupation that consists in sitting around– and motivated by the natural variety of each day.

Happy writing!

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