Parents into Work
It takes a lot, these days, to get me exercised about something. What with seismic family changes, a constantly shifting and challenging roster of tasks to get through every single day, and my health being on an unpredictable wicket lately, I have to prioritise.
Yet today, I wonder about the government’s – every government, I gather; Labour are on this bandwagon too – insistence that we have to invest big to “get more women into work”. What the politicians mean is taxable employment, from which a share of revenue can be collected.
In general I approve of higher tax rates. In societies with higher tax rates, I observe that civic provision – such as healthcare, pensions, parental leave – tends to be better and citizens tend to be more co-operative and appreciative of state efforts on their behalf. Which comes in handy when the state is faced with pandemics or nation-wide problems and then has to ask citizens to co-operate with its state-wide strategies.
But this insistence that people, and particularly women, should “get into work” is misleading and just a tad unfair. Most people work most of the time in a variety of jobs and roles, some paid, some unpaid; and the amount of goodwill that goes along with being a paid or an unpaid anything is not only considerable but also, ultimately, unquantifiable; a reality of life which irks bean counters no end.
My aim here is not to make a martyr of unpaid workers, but to point out that most of us do work most of the time, and the last thing we need is increasingly explicit guidance that tries to steer us into “paid employment”. While we currently face industrial action across many paid sectors which are central to our economy and wellbeing, working hours contributed in unpaid roles save the exchequer and business billions of pounds each year. The last thing we need is a bunch of – very – privileged persons telling us that getting into paid work is good for our health and that we have marketable skills.
We know this already, and continue to do what needs to be done every day. What we need, actually, is someone to listen. To help out with the boring stuff and to agree that yes, we are doing okay, we are doing more than okay. That it’s enough already and we are not expected to send our babes into the care of another hard-pressed parent who has set themselves up as a child-minder, while s/he sends their kids to me, so that I can do the same. Reminds me of a Griselda cartoon – I paraphrase – “I’ll give you mine, she can take yours and I’ll take hers…”
When was it decided that a parent staying at home to look after their children was somehow letting the side down? Just because s/he is not in “paid employment” does not mean that what s/he does every day has no value. It’s not always childcare s/he needs, while s/he works out if the costs of working make going back to work worth anything at all. What s/he needs is simple recognition that being a parent – and a spouse, a contributor to a hundred and one different agendas – is valuable and appreciated.
I thought that the Covid pandemic had finally laid bare the value of unpaid work. Now that things are seemingly returning to “normal” it would be a pity to lose sight of that, and to return to the old, tired arguments about stay-at-home parents “returning to work”.
Please share:
Valerie Poore
January 9, 2023 @ 8:59 pm
Fran, you are so right about this. It should always be a choice, although for some it isn’t. I would have preferred to stay at home with my children until they were independent themselves and I don’t feel it’s right to push women into paid work if they have made the choice to do the work needed to maintain the home and family. It’s all about tax and revenue for the government. Dutch women are under the same pressure. Cultural tradition here values the mother who either chooses to do the home keeping or work parttime, which is very common in this country. Most women who do paid work don’t work fulltime. However, the government is trying to push for more fulltime employment. They say it’s necessary to fund state pensions, but I’m sceptical.
Fran Macilvey
January 10, 2023 @ 12:02 pm
There are various schemes mooted to compensate carers who work at home, though none seems to gain traction for very long. The old notion that traditional work is unpaid, dies hard, it seems to me; which is a pity. Perhaps one day we may see a citizens’ income that allows people to make choices based more on personal preference, rather than on purely economic necessity. Happy New Year to you and yours, Val! I hope that 2023 goes well. Xx
Valerie Poore
January 16, 2023 @ 9:48 pm
Thank you, Fran. I hope 2023 is good to you too!
John Corden
January 9, 2023 @ 9:06 pm
Dear Fran,
I have often wondered why stay at home parents are so often ignored by the government and by those parents in huge houses with two cars and a huge mortgage who send their children off to daycare centres.
And PS If you give a link to Griselda cartoons and someone who has never seen them before, don’t be surprised if you get blamed for me spending an hour when I should be getting ready to go down to the city to visit my grandson.
Fran Macilvey
January 10, 2023 @ 12:04 pm
Hello John! Thanks for visiting and commenting. Perhaps if all updaid carers went on strike, then we might see a bit of change?
Griselda is one of my favourite cartoonists… Glad you found her.
Diane
January 11, 2023 @ 8:10 pm
I was lucky because back when my children were small being a mum at home was much more common. Of course it meant times when money was tight and I had to do some part time work but fitted it in when my husband was at home to look after the children. Oh boy do I pay for it now. My pension is a joke. Impossible to live on. A new way needs to be found. Exhausted parents and farmed out children is a poor way to live I think.
Fran Macilvey
January 12, 2023 @ 3:30 pm
Dear Diane,
Thank you so much for visiting, reading, and commenting. I do so appreciate your perspective. I think a new way can, and ultimately must, be found, perhaps built around citizens expecting a bit less – less stuff, fewer trips abroad, that kind of thing – and yet having more flexibility with what they want and need to make their lives content. Your last comment – “Exhausted parents and farmed out children is a poor way to live I think” – speaks volumes.
Elouise R Fraser
January 25, 2023 @ 8:43 pm
Dear Fran,
It’s so good to hear your straight-forward description of truth. Not truth about how much money we’re making, but truth about the WORK/LABOR demanded and too often expected of stay-at-home parents, most often without a thought for counting this as creative and necessary work. Not just for the family in question, but for the community as a whole. In addition, speaking from my own experience, organizations of all kinds seem to expect from women (whether stay-at-home, or go to work every day) double duty with absolutely no compensation for home-work, plus the added insult (here in the USA) of too often being put on a lower pay scale due to her gender.
Here’s a belated Happy New Year, and a prayer that you’ll find strength and joy in each day, one day at a time. 🙂
Elouise
Fran Macilvey
January 26, 2023 @ 10:42 am
Dear Elouise,
Thank you so much! I do hope that you have a good year in 2023 and that it brings you many pleasant surprises and much joy. :-)))
I do observe differences in expectations that continue to exist between, say, men and women, in different sectors. Because it is hard to notice and to quantify – and, I presume, because those within the industry are happy enough with things as they stand – biases generally continue un-remarked. It conveys on a leader an almost mythic status – “What an incredible leader he is!!” if he is prepared not only to notice the discrepancies but to do something about them. I’ve long held the belief that we are all impoverished when any sector of the community is excluded, intentionally or not.