I can do many things.
I can do many things. I can drive a car, I can prepare meals – I’m what might be called a good plain cook – I can sing. Glancing through the remains of what might have once passed as a body of work, it dawns on me that I also produce visual art, some of which has, surprisingly, stood the test of time, despite the absence of any formal recognition or schooling. The test being, after twenty or thirty years, do I still like this? And yes, to a surprising number of things I draw, that is still my answer.
Which does demonstrate to my cynical self that indeed I can do many things and reasonably well. Unexpectedly, I procure from some part of my depths, strange, colourful works that hit the mark, often enough to give the whole idea of me as a visual artist more than passing credibility.
But where does this talent come from? With no concrete idea it existed, I’ve certainly never talked about it. Reminding me yet again, that in getting through life and discovering how I can achieve things, I travel an unusual path. I do not, and cannot, seemingly, arrive at outcomes along the same tried and tested routes that others take. If I can accept that I needn’t match more general expectations to get to desired outcomes along the usual paths, life seems to work out better for me.
I have been characterised as not listening to advice, being contrary and defensive. But perhaps a part of my reaction has come from knowing that what everyone else was telling me was “so obvious”, I knew would not work for me. Did I recognise, even as a child, that I would have to do things my own way? Possibly. Kids are not stupid.
I can’t keep up. And my sanity makes a welcome return when I remember that life is not one long battle to match “How things are done around here” with the way I do things. Things seem to work better when I keep faith and keep going, in my own way.
Thanks for listening.
Please share:
Valerie Poore
November 2, 2019 @ 8:35 am
What insight, Fran. Yes, you’ve just had to learn to do things your own way. Only you can know what you can do. To a lesser degree, I have the same approach. I’m often told the ‘right’ way to do some practical task on the boat is not something I can the physical ability or strength to do, but I can do things my way and they work, much to everyone’s amazement. So cheers to you my dear. I’m glad you have art in your life as well!
Fran Macilvey
November 3, 2019 @ 10:53 am
Hi Val! 🙂 Thanks for your comment. We all learn for ourselves, in the final analysis, what we can do. And I’m glad you don’t listen too hard when others make assumptions about what you can do, or the way to do things, either. It’s good to make the attempt.Even if it is not particularly successful, it is the basis of a strategy we can work on.
Problem is, that internalising the message too much that we do things differently from others can lead to the defeatist logic that says, “And being different is so much like hard work, why bother?” But I’m getting wise to that, finally, and bashing on: “Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm…” a quote variously attributed to Abraham Lincolm and Winston Churchill, wrongly as it turns out. Have a wonderful day. ((xx))