Fran Macilvey
Author and Speaker on Disability, Social Inclusion and Personal Empowerment
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February 24, 2020

Spring clean personal effects

Fran Macilvey Happiness Matters 2 Comments

Spring clean personal effects

And an old favourite of mine: spring clean personal effects of anything you have not used for three years.

Many practitioners of the “tidy life” movement advocate “letting go” of anything that we have not used or admired for a period of six months. I prefer a period of at least a year, not only because our sentimental preferences may take a while to catch up with our more business-like decisions – sometime in the middle of the night, we may be frantic to find that particular top…  – but because a full year, and three of these, is likely to cover most seasons, weathers and eventualities. Even eventual changes of mind.

I also favour putting unwanted items aside, out of our line of sight for a while, into a kind of emotional “cooling tank”. A halfway house of this sort tempers our fear of letting go of those things which we have grown accustomed to, without ever having asked ourselves, “Do I actually like this? Or find it useful?” If I put something that I’m not sure about aside for a while, I can always say, “Well, I haven’t thrown it away just yet…” which in turn means that I can be a bit freer with what I choose to let go.

It is not wasteful to be thoughtful about what we choose to keep and the reasons why. It is not selfish to keep and use personal effects that make us feel happy and contented. A simpler, more conscious approach to our possessions does not blindly accept, but asks us to regularly check that the things we are keeping are with us because of our own choice and not merely by default.

If I have anything in my personal space that makes me feel heavy or unhappy, in passing it on, I am letting it go, not throwing it away. I am passing it on to a good home, not discarding it to add to the landfill pile. I am selling it or donating it for a good cause or a charity concern or an auction.

Thanks for listening. I welcome any other ideas you might want to share about this, an ongoing project.

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February 21, 2020

Using my mobile phone

Fran Macilvey cerebral palsy, Fran's School of Hard Knocks 0 Comments

Using my mobile phone

Recent family miscommunications have brought home to me the challenges I face when using my mobile phone. “I called you, use your phone!” is becoming a familiar refrain to me, while I cling to the old trusted methods of setting clear arrangements and sticking to them.

It rarely occurs to me to worry about such things, and I do adhere to the old-fashioned view that “I keep my mobile phone for emergencies,” usually quite comfortably. I work from home and am so often here that I still rely on a land-line.

I have contemplated ditching my old-fashioned landline – as I guess from the thin-ness of the current phone book that many people must already have done – and simply using my mobile. It’s tempting. I would probably save money and would not have so many nuisance calls.

But… I discover that it nearly impossible to use my mobile unless I am actually sitting down and have a few uninterrupted minutes to send a text or to phone someone.

The standard image of a mobile phone user is of a commuter with a wheelie case in one hand and their mobile in the other, raptly focussed on texting or conversation while walking sturdily to catch trains or the check-in desk in time. It is that kind of real-time, urgent practicality that escapes me and which, I suspect, is at the root of my reluctance to embrace that mode of being: it requires dexterity I shall never master. Set in my ways as I am – and with big, flattened fingers that refuse to move quickly – that level of multi-tasking is, I suspect, beyond me. I need to be careful when moving around, not distracted by calls and trying to type quickly.

So sorry, folks, I will be keeping a mobile for emergency use only. And I finally recognise that my land-line is not so much a luxury as I previously assumed.

Thanks for listening.

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February 18, 2020

Carry a bag

Fran Macilvey Happiness Matters 0 Comments

Carry a bag

It should be easy for us to carry a bag by now. We’ve had charges for plastic carriers for a while, and increasingly supermarkets and suppliers are introducing heavy duty paper bags, cardboard boxes or zero waste options for transporting our groceries: all of which has a very “Seventies” vibe about it. If we acquire a few sturdy carrier bags, these can last literally for years.

But you can also carry any kind of bag or wrapping of the sort which you would find protecting new pillows, or those that clothes are delivered in, for re-use to pick up any pieces of litter you may find lying around.

One of the main reasons we don’t collect litter – oh dear, I don’t have a bag with me… – can so easily be overcome if we remember to keep some wrap – bag – packaging – in the car for this purpose. Not that we spend a great deal of time glancing around our feet at whatever dross we might find clogging up the drains or caught wilting in the gutter. It is not good for our sense of ambition to continually looking down at the pavement. Rather, it is useful and refreshing to choose one day, a time, a moment once and a while, to go on a litter search and collect mission. See how much we can recycle or double wrap before we throw it away. Take the time to notice what lies under the hedgerows and beside canals and embankments and retrieve it.

It’s occasionally also useful to carry a pair of scissors, for slicing through cords and the plastic ties that trap official notifications on lamp posts and railings. It is amazing how the litter of discarded signage can clutter and accumulate: how many local authorities, having put up planning notices and landlord and tenant neighbour notifications, ever bother to retrieve them when they have expired?

It only takes moment, when heading out on our daily rounds, to remember to carry a bag.

Thanks for listening.

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February 15, 2020

Eat less meat

Fran Macilvey Happiness Matters 0 Comments

Eat less meat

I have tried to live with the vegan diet. To be more precise, in my efforts to eat less meat, I thought it might be possible to go vegan. I was wrong: after a month, my whole system was so light, I almost floated away. Nowadays, I eat eggs, chicken and a moderate amount of pork and pork products. All else in the meat and animal line I either avoid or eat only occasionally: beef, I never eat, milk and cheese almost never and lamb not a lot…because it hardly ever occurs to me to do so.

But I do see a place for locally procured, well farmed meat products and their derivatives like yogurt, butter, milk and ice-cream, if only because domesticated animals have gone through a very long and honourable process of evolution to make them safe for humans to eat. (Which compares them very favourably with the types of produce that are never intended to go near the human palate, including wild animals, primates and other sorts of unsavoury bush meat. The latest outbreak of norovirus is said to have originated in a market where wild animals were held for sale, probably for human consumption… Never a very clever idea at the best of times.)

So while I do not eat much meat, I do not condemn those who do. There is a place for meat eating. Instead of worrying about the habits of others, I aim to eat less meat, and purchase only a modest amount for my family – I suppose I’m what you might call a “meat reducer”. When I can, I try to buy from farmers or farmers’ markets since undoubtedly, meat does have a heavy environmental cost. But though we can source our complex proteins from other sources, I would regret the loss of bovines and birds from our food chain altogether.

Increasingly, instead of an embargo, I favour simply a more modest aspiration, hoping to leave a bit of space for those who come after, to enjoy some of the life privileges I’ve had. Too often “consumerism” justifies the total swallowing of resources which, if allowed to continue, will leave nothing for others who succeed us in life on this planet. And if, in order to allow future generations some hope, I have to temper my expectations, eating less meat is the least I can do.

Thanks for listening.

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February 12, 2020

Get milk delivered

Fran Macilvey Fran's School of Hard Knocks, Happiness Matters 0 Comments

Get milk delivered

We get milk delivered. And have been doing so for so long, that I can’t quite remember how we got started with this. Hubby and I come from the generation who remember the milk delivery from the milk float to almost every home in our street: glass pint bottles left on doorsteps, used, washed collected and re-used, with minimal wastage of resources.

When I realised that a milk delivery in the locality was a possibility, I mentioned it to my husband and we set it up. Yes, it is more expensive per unit – this tends to be a recurring theme in living more sustainably – but our household waste no longer includes plastic milk cartons, which require to be rinsed, flattened and put out for collection, and which tend in the meantime to leak their milky residue everywhere.

We do have marauding seagulls, cats, dogs and foxes hereabouts, but we deal with them. A seagull was piercing our milk bottle tops and smashing the glass, so now the delivery chap leaves the bottles at the top of our internal staircase for us. We have cats, but food waste recycling left out for recycling is, if double-wrapped, almost impenetrable to them. And we have foxes, who particularly covet chicken remains. Instead of trying to fend them off – they will find their way to food waste with unerringly accuracy – we now simply take our finished chicken carcass – and I mean finished! – to the foot of our hill out the back, where doubtless the local wildlife fall upon it gratefully. A bit unorthodox, perhaps, but then, all of “ethical living” might be seen as an attempt to refute our current orthodoxies for more sustainable, long-term solutions.

A thing done once is seen as challenging and daring, unusual. A thing done twice becomes easier, and a thing repeated becomes part of a new, emerging orthodoxy which will, naturally, have to be modified with time. The trick is to start somewhere and keep trying to make a difference.

Thanks for listening.

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February 9, 2020

Switch to an eco friendly energy supplier

Fran Macilvey Happiness Matters 0 Comments

Switch to an eco friendly energy supplier

At the suggestion of my sister, some years ago, I made the switch to an eco friendly energy supplier. (As an inducement, they promised her a free bottle of wine which never arrived. I like to think that they were inundated with requests and ran out of wine.) That was for 100% renewable electricity, and some years later I was prompted to sign up to the supplier’s dual energy supply which includes carbon-neutral gas.

My sister at the time was installing solar panels and taking advantage of energy exchange schemes through which electricity generated at her home would be fed back into the wider energy grid and reduce her bills. In light of her brave schemes, it seemed to me that signing up for eco electricity was the least I could contribute. I don’t have to go and generate my own electricity, after all.

The thing is, in among all the other things we have to pay for, the increase in energy costs is fairly easy to accommodate. And since we pay by direct debit monthly instead of by cheque quarterly in the old way, the expense is hardly noticed. I got a kick out of telling my previous supplier that no, I wasn’t looking for cheaper energy as I had signed up with an eco-supplier and was very happy to have done so. The chap on the phone didn’t seem to realise that threatening me – “you are making a big mistake, you’ll regret it” – I paraphrase – would hardly endear me to his company or to his company’s ethos.

I have tended to find that, the smaller I live my life – the more I try to scrimp and save on costs – the smaller my life becomes. Doing my bit by signing up for eco electricity and gas seems to be a small gesture in the right direction that might make a big difference. The larger utilities companies are now beginning to wake up to increased demand for eco fuel, and I have myself seen how change can be consumer led.

Thanks for listening.

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February 6, 2020

Our use of the kettle

Fran Macilvey Fran's School of Hard Knocks, Happiness Matters 2 Comments

Our use of the kettle

Continuing our look at kitchen economies and the environment, I am rather exercised by our use of the kettle every morning.

Typically, hubby will get up before me, put a lot of water in the kettle and boil it up to make himself a cup of tea. And that uses a lot of electricity. (I’m reminded of the story of the national power outage when everyone went to make cups of tea during the running of the TV series, “The Thornbirds”.)

I now get up rather earlier, chat to hubby and daughter, and, while the first boiling of the water in the kettle is still hot, pour most of the surplus into a thermos flask. Which has several obvious advantages. During the day I don’t have to boil the kettle so I save a bit of time, and steam, and I don’t scald my mouth from sipping hot beverages. I experiment with how long a standard thermos keeps water hot and am often surprised. It’s actually really easy to set this up, and quite fun to notice just how much electrical power we waste by not planning a little ahead.

In my grandmother’s day, when the kettle was boiled on the gas stove, this was never such a big deal for me. Gas is a relatively cheap, primary source of energy. Electric kettles, on the other hand, use secondary energy generated from another source: gas, coal, wind or solar.

I like hot water as much as the next person, but do we really need to boil the kettle all the time? To give another example, I used to boil the kettle before our evening meal – it was just a habit I got into – before realising that actually, we drink cold water with our evening meal – we have excellent fresh water on tap, so we can do that, here – and often, we didn’t think of hot drinks until much later in the evening. So I bought a jug for the table and filled it with cold water instead.

It’s interesting to note how often we do a thing without thinking about it…

Thanks for listening.

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February 3, 2020

Reusing plastic bags

Fran Macilvey Fran's School of Hard Knocks, Happiness Matters 0 Comments

Reusing plastic bags

We hear a lot about plastic waste, and I am evolving strategies for reusing all kinds of plastic bags and wrappers to limit the quantity of small plastic particles that end up seeping into the environment.

At the kitchen sink, I have a small bowl which I line with a thin plastic bag, the sort that is used to wrap bananas or bread from the supermarket. Ideally, of course, we should do without this plastic wrap altogether, and I’m working on it. Meantime, I put single use plastic wrappers to good use by re-deploying them to collect small and friable plastic pieces – tags from clothing, crisp packets, the wrap from supermarket meat packets, the plastic netting around satsumas…– that would otherwise leach into the environment and be especially hard to recover. Having a small tub on the kitchen counter next to the sink also means I’m not constantly having to go beneath the counter into the main dustbin.

There are supermarkets that now sell products without plastic: we can take our shampoo bottles and detergent bottles and obtain refills of the main eco brands. We have three such retailers in the neighbourhood – within five miles of our home – and while I have only explored one, I do intend to visit the others. I don’t rush this process of conversion from single, repeated purchase to re-use, partly because it takes time to organise it and assimilate, and also because I’m aware that conspicuous buying is not really the idea.

For example, I do love the idea of spreadable butter, but dislike the idea of having to buy a new plastic pot every time. So now I wash the pot – actually, it’s best to wash it twice, because butter products can otherwise go rancid quite quickly – and reuse the pot with a pack of standard butter, which can stay out of the fridge.

Thanks for listening.

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January 31, 2020

Ten things I can do to make a difference

Fran Macilvey Fran's School of Hard Knocks, Happiness Matters 3 Comments

Ten things I can do.

We all know how perilous the situation of our planet is right now. And it’s tempting to pull the blinkers on, pull the bedcovers over our head and ignore the issues that challenge us all. But our young people are leading the way in tearing our blinkers off, while reminding us that there are things we can do. So here is a list of ten things I can do to make a difference. And I do most of them, most of the time, so that they form part of my daily routine to which I now give little thought.

As a general rule, changing the way we do things can take between six months and two years to embed itself, especially as the conditioning we receive when young tends to stick around: It’s hard to change the way we do things unless we can see an immediate reason to do so, and standing at the sink brushing my teeth, there seems to be no obvious reason why I should change the habits of a life-time.

But we can and we do, because the things we can do, make a difference.

Johannes Vermeer, ‘Young Woman with a Water Pitcher’

Water

Water is infinite. It circulates around our planet endlessly, solid, liquid and gas. So, living in a northern, dampish climate, it can be challenging to notice the need for care.

Fresh water is precious and – to put it bluntly – I have never felt comfortable using drinking water to flush the toilet! That seems like a ridiculous laziness that sooner or later must end; until I can afford to install grey-water systems, or until I can convert my usage to a composting toilet, meantime I prioritise my use of water, without skimping on hygiene standards. And there are some really simple things we can all do to use less fresh water.

~ Put the plug in.

In the kitchen, before preparing a cooked meal, put the plug in the sink and add a small amount of water and detergent. Rinse hands and dishes as you cook. Putting in the plug helps to keep hands and surfaces clean while I cook, saves water and switching taps on and off. Since I use an ecological detergent, there is less need to rinse dishes after washing them: If the fishes don’t have the choice to get away from my suds, why should I? The solution seems to be to make fewer suds…

In the bathroom I put the plug in while washing and brushing. I turn off the tap while brushing my teeth – in fact, I use hardly any water now, when brushing. I don’t rinse after brushing either, which helps to keep the fluoride in my toothpaste working for longer. Also – I confess – I no longer spit in the sink, as this then needs to be rinsed away, but I spit into the toilet bowl, which is nearby. I figure, at some point I will flush anyway… There are lots of ways that we can stop needlessly wasting fresh water. Experiment with some and see what suits you best. 

(To be continued.)



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January 27, 2020

Considering legal matters

Fran Macilvey 'Trapped: My Life with Cerebral Palsy', Fran's School of Hard Knocks, Memoir, The Rights & Wrongs of Writing 2 Comments

Considering legal matters.

When we set out to write our memoirs we may find ourself considering legal matters. In summary, these are not as complex as people sometimes assume.

We do not need to do exhaustive research, we do not even need to get all our facts right – there are times when our recollection of events is less painful than what actually happened – and in general, we are given considerable leeway in what we write about, providing we remember:

~ To write our own life stories, not the stories of other people

~ To write honestly, willingly and even-handedly. I like to think, and I say often, that if someone thinks I have been unkind in my portrayal of them, that I have been at least as unkind about myself.

~ We write clearly, showing the facts of what happened, rather than relating mythic family stories that have been handed down.

~ We avoid inflammatory language wherever possible.

~ We are careful in levelling accusations against others. If a parental figure was obviously unkind, or ill, or had it in for us, we may say so; if we are using the opportunity of writing our memoirs to get revenge or indulge in a “pity party” that’s probably not the best strategy. It can be a close call, sometimes, which is why I would always advocate writing less, rather than more.

The main lesson of writing memoir, for me, has been that it has taught me to have more empathy for others, including all those who have challenged me. As I have come to see those challenges as gifts, I have gained a great deal.

So in the processes of writing, in reflecting on the benefits of memoir, I like to think that what I have gained has been achieved without compromising the integrity or dignity of others, even my detractors. While others may, occasionally, have harsh or unflattering things to say about me, I don’t see it as part of my job to reciprocate in kind. The public benefits of memoir are concerned with sharing experiences, so that others may feel less alone with their experiences.

Thank you for reading this series on memoir. Please bear in mind that all my suggestions are based around my own experiences, taking into account feedback from readers, reviewers and family members. I do not claim to be an up-to-date expert, nor to speak about the laws in multiple jurisdiction. Each case must be considered on its own unique merits.

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