To leave this writing jaunt behind
One morning recently, before I rose for the day, I said aloud, “I really want to leave this writing jaunt behind now. It’s been twelve hard years and I’ve had enough….”
Sincerely putting the matter out in the open and wondering what would happen, I waited, explaining, “It’s been good, but I’ve had to work so hard, and I don’t think I can weather any more disappointments. I feel beleaguered.”
And I swear that at the back, someone was smiling as they answered me, “You want to give up the one thing – the one thing, mark you! – that belongs to you entirely and that still offers you hope and something interesting and valuable to think about? We totally get how fed up you are and tired and all that. But it’s not the writing that’s making you tired, it’s everything else you do on a normal day. It is the daily routines and the shopping and the thinking about meals and superglue and recycling that has you exhausted, not your writing.”
“Not for nothing did we ensure you would loathe housework,” the advice continued, “We knew that if you could find any more enjoyment in it than you do, you would cheerfully give up this writing lark and spend the rest of your days cooking, wiping and cleaning. Which is not what we want for you. We want you to be happy.”
I could not help smiling with relief when I then remembered a time before all the daily tasks became oppressive when I truly did enjoy writing and find it engrossing. So why would I give that up?
The obvious answer, is instead, to give less energy and thought to the other daily tasks I bend my mind to, and simply write when I feel like it. For now, that will have to be enough. But I’m glad I’ve finally decided I won’t be leaving it behind.
Thanks for listening.
Please share:
Diane Dickson
November 14, 2019 @ 1:22 pm
Whew – Panic for a moment there. Yes, yes – forego the dusting and wield the pen the dust will just come back anyway – it’s sneaky like that.
Fran Macilvey
November 14, 2019 @ 5:10 pm
Thanks, Diane! I have no excuse…! We have a lovely, wonderful cleaner who comes once a week to do the dusting, so what is my problem? None, except that I’ve got so used to what I do. Though I dislike it. Isn’t that odd? Note to self… Must get out more. 🙂
Valerie Poore
November 15, 2019 @ 3:17 pm
Oh goodness, Fran. I’m so glad you aren’t giving it up either. You write with such style and fluency. I would love to read one of the novels you’ve written. Daily chores are a bind and can sap the joy from your heart. What writing does is stimulate those creative juices and make the sap rise again (sorry, I got carried away there).
Fran Macilvey
November 15, 2019 @ 5:28 pm
Hi Val! 🙂 Yes, me too. If you like, I can send you a novel completed in draft. And I’d be delighted to have your comments, good or bad. It’s been the kind of season which might have proved discouraging, but which, on closer inspection has been good! I just need to change my perspective a little bit, and it’s working. I love it when you get carried away. Xxx
Valerie Poore
November 15, 2019 @ 3:22 pm
PS Have you considered self-publishing? Maybe I’m asking something you’ve discussed before, but these days, it can often be a matter of choice. I am self-published by choice. I was with a publisher, but it was a big disappointment in many ways. I’m so much happier being in control of my work now.
Fran Macilvey
November 15, 2019 @ 5:31 pm
Yes, I had considered it, but not seriously yet. There is too much else going on – when isn’t there, though? That’s not much of an excuse. I’ll see how next year pans out and give it a shot. I suspect that meantime I need to put the books through several hard edits – I feel as if they are loaves of bread that need to prove a bit, but I’m more hopeful and determined than I have been in a long while, so that’s a major plus. Thanks for the encouragement to go it alone. 🙂