Time for a change.

I’ve been thinking it’s time for a change, and wondering where that might come from.  Then it hit me.  (Not literally, but another few pieces of the jigsaw slotted neatly into place, and the picture became a bit clearer.)

To change my mind is remarkably easy.  Not because I am easily swayed one way or the other on the international situation or the state of the environment….but

When something goes the way I don’t expect it to – Today, I prefer not to say, ‘goes wrong’ – I’ve been in the habit of getting all upset.   Naturally, I then give into those feelings of regret, loss, pain, anxiety and frustration.  We all do this, so it goes unremarked, except by those – oh, the irony! – of us who live nearest, and who have to put up with sunny one minute, cloudy the next.  It is scant comfort to my family that I have been as puzzled as they.

After a prolonged bout of existential angst, yesterday I was hanging up laundry – again – and abruptly thought, ‘Say something positive – go on, try!’ and murmured, “Well done!”  Instantly, like someone had switched on a light, I felt a bit better.  So I said it again, and a bit more heaviness lifted.  This felt so easy, I thought, ‘Why don’t I spend the rest of my life being positive?  I can just as easily say something positive as the other…. And it would be a lot more fun!’

So that is my latest resolution, reinforced by the growing awareness that the things we dream of, aim for and fantasize about have much less to do with our minds than we think: Our dreams and our minds serve different purposes, and if writing has taught me anything, it is there is no limit to what we can dream.  Whatever our minds may have to say about that.

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