Thinking about life

 

Thinking about Life, the Universe and everything, I feel that it is now time for me to commit. Considering all the articles, the books and blog posts I’ve written about being positive, staying cheerful, finding meaning and purpose in mundanity, I’ve finally come to the point where, instead of saying, “Some day, I wlll…” I am now thinking, “Now I shall…”

I’ve decided that ‘positive’ is going to be my default. Okay, so that doesn’t mean I’ve suddenly evolved, or that I will never be … usefully angry again – which I take to mean, moved to decide something when I feel strongly. What I mean is that, I will no longer use negativity or those oh so familiar negative narratives (that sometimes announce themselves so clearly in my head!) to wallow, or to excuse myself from trying my best, aiming for the stars and giving life my best shot, every day, all the time.

Because, after living in the slow lane – aka merely existing – for so long, and after compromising my wishes almost to death, I owe myself that. I owe my husband, my daughter, my mother and my sisters that. And I’ve wasted so much time in unhelpful thinking, I don’t want to waste another second.

Positive is what we say it is. Positive is how we see ourselves, what we do to assist ourselves to feel good, purposeful and useful. It shows up in the ways we choose to have fun, the clothes we wear, the books we read, all the ways we relate to other people. And honestly, there are so many lovely things out there, colourful, bright and life enhancing, and there are so many truly gifted and wonderful people in the world, that I no longer have no excuse for accepting anything that takes away from my enjoyment of these.

We do deserve to treat ourselves well, and to hope for and anticipate the best. We never “have to” sell ourselves short. So from now on, I’m going to hope for the best, and live as if I really mean it. Wish me luck!

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