The last two years
Since my father died – in March 2016 – and my brother died in October 2016 – my life, the last two years of my gentle, unassuming life has been held rather in abeyance by legal minefields – estate in three countries, family in three countries, and notaries who prove reluctant to communicate, listen or act with what I would call dispatch. Thankfully, all that – all that, and so much more – is almost – finally – nearly finished. So now, maybe I can build new memories of my father and brother, unencumbered by the pain of legal decrapitude.
It is really quite sad to reflect that the last two years have been blighted by thoughts of notaries, clerical requirements, your word against mine, apostilles, trips to Belgium – at least a dozen – and endless phone-calls interspersed with pained waiting.
I have learned a very great deal from the entire process: what really matters, how to wait, how to listen more fully and be present to the gifts in every situation, how to deal with other people’s confused agendas, how to … live well while all is in abeyance and threatening to unravel. These are not gifts I expected to receive from the confusion that first greeted us, and I am grateful for the opportunities to learn. But…
I am also grateful that now, my sisters, my mother and I can grieve. At last. And say adieu properly, remembering my family fondly.
Please share:
Elouise
January 29, 2018 @ 4:30 pm
Oh, Fran! What a nightmare! I’m so grateful it’s turning a corner. I don’t even know what to say…Peace, my dear. Keep going gently. Welcoming spirits surround you.
Elouise
Fran Macilvey
January 29, 2018 @ 4:42 pm
Thanks so much, Elouise. You must also feel – I’m sure you do – ambivalent about passing anniversaries, not wanting to forget but grateful for time that reshapes all and allows us to keep going. The time has been intense and hard, but with lessons in there when I care to look back at it all. Bless you, and thanks so much for your healing energy. Much appreciated! 🙂 xxx
Frank Kusy
January 30, 2018 @ 8:43 am
So sorry you’ve had to go through all this, Fran, and so proud that you have gained so much wisdom from the experience. Big hugs, Frank ♥
Fran Macilvey
January 30, 2018 @ 12:53 pm
Thank you so much, Frank, for visiting my blog and commenting. It’s been a hard slog, but it helps to be detached as much as possible, and not worry about timelines! Invariably, they need adjusting, but when I let that expectation go, things are much easier.
I am often reminded of a passage in one of your books, where you visit a Buddhist temple (?) and are invited to contribute about your experiences, and to all your hardship, the other people there are nodding and smiling, because they envy you your ‘growth experiences’. That has kept me going, rather. Hugs back atcha! 🙂
Paol Soren
February 2, 2018 @ 5:10 am
Well Fran,
It’s been all those two years that I have missed you. I am so glad that you are back on my list. Every time I have seen a comment from you (usually on Elouise’ blog) I have gone to your wordpress site and it says you have closed it. Then today I had an inspiration and took the word “wordpress” out and tried https://www.franmacilvey.com/ and there you are. Phew!. Anyway you will remember me as John and now I am Paol. (Just a little change that I need not explain)
I will make a little extra time and skip merrily through the last year and see what you have been on about. And now I have learned how to go overseas book buying I will order a “Trapped” ASAP.
Fran Macilvey
February 2, 2018 @ 11:30 am
Oh Paol, thank you so much for finding me and getting in touch. Has it really been as long as that? I’ve missed you, and these last two years have been… hell, but I’ve learned from them, thankfully.
I closed my wordress.com account in favour of my own website franmacilvey.com – there’s only one of me, which makes it easier to find. I’ll send you a signed copy of both of my books if you like. Just tell me your postal address and they are yours. 🙂
BTW – we are coming to Australia this summer. Fancy a meetup?
Fran XXX