It is our birthday today. My twin sister and I are each fifty years old: fifty years not out. And I am totally, utterly delighted. In cosmic terms, my sigh of relief and gratitude is audible from here to seventh heaven and beyond.
I can’t speak for those who may bewail this ageing milestone, but I have to say, I have never been more cheerful about a birthday. In past years, filled with the angst of youth, I have fancied myself very grown up, maturing and learning lessons, while uneasily eyeing the horizon of older age, unsure what it would bring: prognostications of doom were never far behind my efforts to find and enjoy a life of my own choosing.
Now, having arrived at this day not only unscathed but facing a bright, buoyant future filled with hope, adventure and love, I feel such deep playfulness and joie de vivre. Despite the cold, the rainy sleet and the tendency to confine oneself indoors with a surfeit of turkey leftovers and superannuated mince pies, I feel a child-like glee.
One way or another, I have managed to confound many critics to get to today, while remaining upright, more-or-less in one piece, and without the aid of too many perambulatory mechanisms. If I have managed to arrive here while feeling variously down in the dumps, grumpy and stranded, then, armed with my new optimism, the future is very bright indeed.
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January 9, 2015
Go Girl Go!
Fran Macilvey change, choices, fun, optimism, patience Flash Fiction & Short Stories 10 Comments
She peeled back the curtains and noticed the drops of slanting rain, coursing down the window pane. In the cold, without any of the usual warmth in the radiators, she shivered and yearned to crawl back to her warm bed. But she had things to do, people to meet, appointments to honour. Breakfast was the usual bowl of oats and nut shavings, but she decided to brighten it with a scattering of dried, bitter berries, which brought out the flavour and fed colour to her heart.
As she stumbled to the car, her right knee collapsed and so did she, grazing her hand and grasping in vain for any handhold at the rear of her smooth, aerodynamic vehicle. As she leaned and slid upwards, praying desperately, despair could have taken the lid off all her hopes. But, as she spoke her annoyance, she noticed that it lacked its usual conviction. Like a chesty cough loosening in late spring, her words were blown aside, she kept her focus, and got to the baths early. There she swam better than she might have. Warmed in the sauna, she accepted an invitation to tea, chatted companionably and then zipped through all her town chores easily. As the wind blew, she tripped, stumbled and fell, and oft-times she could have become distracted with the discomfort at her edges, the aching joints, the cold breeze blowing rain and dirt in her face. There was a time when she would have.
But no more! Now, her determination to smile felt liberated, and bits of stumbling resistance were chaff, just to be ignored. She knew, now, that if she would simply keep on doing what she chose, that life would get smoother, easier, gentler, kinder and more and more and more and more FUN. As she crested the hill, turned for home and contemplated the many successes of the past hour, she grinned widely, felt as if she was flying, and knew, this time, she meant business. Go Girl Go! For God’s Sake, just FLY!
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