Rewriting again and again
If anyone was to ask me, ‘How many drafts did you write of Trapped before you were happy with it, before you knew it was finished?’ I might, borrowing a phrase of my grandfather’s, reply reflectively, ‘Thoosands and thoosands….’ Which, over the course of a three year period of trial, error and reconsideration, is not such an exaggeration. At least fifty drafts, then.
The lesson I can draw from this, is that for me, it takes time for the right tone, the right angles and the comfortable, conversational colour to emerge. It takes time to shed the reserve that at first, I hardly notice, and get down to a more immediate and conversational style that I really do prefer, and that I know helps me to enjoy what I write. Perhaps it is the writer’s equivalent of shyness, or a need to come closer gradually, but this process of casting and recasting simply cannot be rushed.
I’ve tried rushing, and this is what happens:-
- The tone of my book flattens out into business-like precision, (which has its uses)
- I start to worry about timing, timetables, word-counts, daily disciplines
- My work flattens out even more
- I assume this is the best I can do and become disheartened.
Now if I assume that I can always please myself, I can always write exactly what I want, whenever I want – and last night, that happened to be from eleven pm ‘til one am – if I assume that I am free to be me not just sometimes, but all times, in all places and in the midst of all my work, this is what happens:-
- I smile and feel liberated again
- A sense of fun and assertive joy invades my work
- My characters are let loose and can speak to me in much fresher, clearer voices
- My plots twist and turn nicely, because I am intrigued, instead of scared, or bored.
- I enjoy my work, and my life
If it takes me three dozen drafts to get my books right, whether they are memoir, MBS or fiction, I better just accept that and start having fun. No more timetables, no more strategies for writing ‘a book a year’, no more ‘must get this finished today’ – because all these …anxieties…. result in work that is not my best.
Please share:
March 24, 2017 @ 5:13 pm
Totally agree Fran in fact I sometimes sit down to write and am suddenly hit with the feeling that ‘No this is not the right time’ and no matter what I try to do it just doesn’t work and so now I sometimes spend the time editing, sometimes play on social media, often spend the time working for the LS site and then when the time is right my finger ends spew forth the story. You can’t force it.
March 24, 2017 @ 5:40 pm
Thank you so much for visiting, and for your comment. I’ve tried writing a book in a few drafts, saying, ‘There, that’s finished…’ but if it has become a job of work, it really is not how I want to leave it. My characters deserve better, I think. So it might take two years or three to write the book as it wants to be written, but, with the right attitude, that doesn’t have to be a problem, does it?
March 24, 2017 @ 7:52 pm
I think you’re gradually writing a book about writing! Alongside the others, of course. Thanks for this timely post and for sharing what you’re learning as you watch yourself from a short distance on the other end of your pen! ??
March 24, 2017 @ 9:44 pm
Thank you too, Elouise! It’s been a process of learning to just enjoy and forget the ‘rules’ that we try to force ourselves to set. These don’t work for me. :-)) xx
March 24, 2017 @ 10:04 pm
I have just written for Quaker Voices a personal article which was hard for me, squeezing out a hundred words in a day, writing over days; and I feel it has stretched and liberated me to write in a wider range, more challenging and worthwhile words. It was painful. I am really glad of it. I will return to it.
March 25, 2017 @ 11:11 am
Hello Abigail – thanks so much for visiting, and commenting. Will QV publish your article? – Congratulations!
Yes, the pain of the writing is worthwhile, because it changes how we feel about all that – as if we have given ourselves more room to breathe fully, somehow. Sometimes, there is good pain, worthwhile for what it yields at the other side. ((xxx))
A very necessary process | Fran Macilvey
December 9, 2019 @ 10:19 am
[…] of scribbling we surface and then what? Well, if you are anything like me, you will rewrite and edit about a million times, because while splurge is necessary for our sanity, it does not always make the best reading. It […]