Its up to me

My determination surfaces when I least expect it, and its up to me to make the most of that.

When the phone rings with bad news, when there is too much spam in my IN box, when I haven’t the time to listen, even when my mother buys herself a flat next door, I now find myself ever so determined to do the right thing: to be patient, to take the time to slow down, to answer in the affirmative, “Yes, I can help.” Because, its up to me.

I don’t really see any virtue in complaining. We do that very easily, and we also expect other people – garbage collectors, teachers, tradesmen, politicians – to pick up our mess and sort us out, and give us answers.

But how about we make up our own answers, design our own futures? Rather than complaining, this is what I have decided to do.

  • Be cheerful, when it would be easier to complain.
  • Answer YES or NO clearly, when someone asks for my help, then get on and do whatever needs doing.
  • At the same time, I can focus my happiness, and accept that whatever comes along is intended to help me with that.
  • Ask for help, when I need it and learn to delegate.

We design our lives imperceptibly, with every sign of assent or disagreement. So, when I agree or decide to differ, I try to do that deliberately, as the outcome of my own positive choice, and not because I feel burdened or beholden to anyone.

I’ve had more than enough of living life by default. Yesterday, I decided that I hate muesli – or, at least, the type of worthy muesli I usually consume – and that forty years of eating that for breakfast was long enough. I much prefer porridge, as it happens.

I feel a bit like Julia Roberts, in ‘The Runaway Bride’ who could never make up her mind what she wanted; but at least, I now know that it’s time to choose. And this is the kind of responsibility I truly welcome.

Thanks for reading (and with apologies for the grammar nits. SEO is a hard task master.)

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