Asking or deciding?

If we want something, it is great to ask for it, politely, then wait and see what happens, resisting the urge to argue ourselves out of the things we choose. Ask, then wait and see. I find this works for me in all sorts of situations: parking spaces, turning right at a junction, remembering what I need when I’m shopping. It works in bigger ways too.

The problem arises when, if we are not careful, our request becomes a beg, hedged round with either dependency or expectation on others, neither of which is very helpful: ‘Oh, pleeeease bring me this man, house, job, of my dreams. I’ve been waiting for aaages…’ Or else, our request sounds like a shopping list: ‘I’d like Santa to bring me a new job, a new car and a million quid.’ Yeah, sure, okay. Anything else? We can ask, and Life responds not only to our request, but to our tone of voice. So I enjoy asking cheerfully, with hope. At this time of year, that also feels cheerfully festive.

We can also decide; which is subtly different from asking – though both go hand in hand. I may decide, for example, that (I’m going to stop worrying or complaining and that) I do have a wonderful, lovely life: that I enjoy my home, I adore all my family and all is well with the world. I can decide I have all the energy, motivation, inspiration – and blog posts! – to do what I have to do, to keep moving forward and finally accomplish my goals. These may keep moving too, but that’s okay, as long as I check in occasionally and make sure that my choices are up to date.

When I decide, I am more in control of what happens, morphing very quickly from the deckhand to the captain of my own ship. Which is as it should be. I can’t know what anyone else truly wants, but I can know how I feel, what I would like to do, and what floats my boat.

Thanks for reading, and have a very warm and joyful Christmas and New Year.

Please share:

FacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedintumblrFacebooktwitterpinterestlinkedintumblr