Another visit to Belgium

Another visit to Belgium

Hearing the news of my brothers relapse into cancer (http://hintjens.com/blog:116 ) my family have been gathering in Antwerp, at what was our father’s home and has now become a godsend, a meeting place in the heart of Belgium from which we trip to and fro.

It fills me with delight to see my brother smiling, so much so that I cannot help grinning back and chortling at his jokes. Sure, there is some nervousness beneath the good humour. I want so much to soothe away his worries and reassure him that all will be well, but I can’t do that, so anxiety is never far away. Yet, I love Pieter’s company. And I am able to witness, to share and to be, peacefully, as he asks, though I cannot help wondering, sometimes, which planet I am on today.

Spring is a beautiful, awakening season: The lime-green leaves newly spreading along tree branches, the blossoming buds ripe with promise, the bright, warm sunshine gilding the world with an intoxicating yellow glow, which felt particularly poignant as we walked through mature hospital grounds to and from visits. This is the season of awakening and hope and relaxation. We helped my brother home from the hospital, and it was delightful to be part of that sharing. We returned to his home, where he hopes to live in peace.

Filled with a new determination to enjoy every moment and to act strongly, I resolve again not to waste another second worrying, or fretting about what I might think I need or want. I resolve to take risks for what I hope is the best, most honourable course (which may not always be the easiest) to reach for the stars and hope that one day, my truest, most loving intentions will bear fruit.

Having spent decades sitting and watching from the side-lines, now I shall act fearlessly, in the certain knowledge that whatever happens, I have the comfort of knowing I did my best, instead of simply watching and waiting for the hammer to fall.

With love, and thanks for reading.

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