Achievements in small steps
I totter, I stumble, I pick myself up of the icy paving – ouch! – examine my hands for punctures and bleeding, and get up again in ungainly fashion. Doubtless someone is watching me, but I’ve got only one aim, and don’t care what I look like. As soon as I can, I forget – forget – about that; think about something else because doing so helps everything to heal better, and I feel much less pain when I raise my thoughts to something else.
Arriving back indoors, it would be so very easy to give up. Swallow the age-old dirge that “Life is just too hard, a shitty, bloody mess that gets harder all the time.”
I’m afraid I used to talk to myself like that all the time. But now, I can’t help noticing that, even as I get up off the carpark, actually, doing so is an achievement, something to be pleased about, a step in the right direction. Which makes me naturally inclined to look back at all the other steps I have taken – so many! – to arrive at this point, and to consider what I would like to do next.
I used to be so impatient. Always rushing, pushing, desperate to get finished. Perhaps that was a consequence of chronic discomfort, yearning to arrive somewhere softer, or perhaps I was not taught to see all the joys of careful patience. These are many, varied and ever changing. As is my appreciation for the way in which life unfolds, when we have the courage to take our time, break each task into small parts, and succeed by having the courage not to look always beyond to the horizon, but often, to simply keep on keeping on with what is directly before us.
Thanks for listening.
Please share:
Elouise R Fraser
February 3, 2019 @ 10:11 pm
This is a remarkable post from a remarkable woman. Thank you for being forthright about your life. It has made a deep impact on me in the last 4-5 years. I cannot thank you enough.
Hugs, flowers, the sun and moon to you in this new year!
Elouise
Fran Macilvey
February 4, 2019 @ 10:16 am
Thanks, Elouise, I’ll take the sun, the moon and the flowers. And all the hugs.
I read your post about your Mum today, and think it a most perfect reflection on life. Thank you. My Mum yesterday asked me to ask my husband to pray for her. And I said, “I thought you didn’t believe in prayer?” to which she replied, “Of course I do!” and said, “Whatever works… I’ll take it!” So we agree on that too. At heart we are a practical species, even as we pray… Have a wonderful day.